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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: need strength for tomorrow
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is a business breakfast at OW#2 place of work. He hasn't said a word. We usually talk about what we have planned for our work days the night before.

I'm not sure if he'll not go, go and not tell me or go and tell me.

I'm not going to ask. I'm just going to see what he does, what kind of spouse he chooses to be.

is this the right thing to do?


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4537 | Registered: Dec 2010
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's hard I know, but let him decide. Let him tell you. It's a good way to see where he's at. If he goes, I'd say let him. Maybe seeing OW will bring some sort of closure?

My FWW did it without telling me. I exploded like a bomb and it was just as hard as DDAY. I almost threw up and passed out. However, for her it was a milestone. She needed to see if she felt anything for him and she didn't. In the end, it wasn't a good idea for her to do that. Other consequences came out because of her visit at his place of business, but she got her closure.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rachel

You will find out just how far in R you really are.

I would wait it out.
Good luck. You have a way to find out for sure?


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3185 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have a way to find out for sure?

yep...


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4537 | Registered: Dec 2010
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too would wait it out and see.

A test...hopefully he will pass. This is what rebuilds trust.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2094 | Registered: Nov 2011
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((RachelC)))

Wow...yes, you should wait it out and see.

But my heart goes out to you...how scary to wait and see.

I imagine it is much like when we all went searching the first few times, when we discovered their secrets.

Wishing you strength to keep silent and peace of mind as you wait. Hugs! You can do this!!

[This message edited by brokensmile322 at 8:38 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)]


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1415 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 6

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