Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Mustang1962 (44220)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Fear she is not getting it.
phoenixrivers
♂ Member
Member # 38314
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The W got a dog from the AP. She claims she had no idea he was getting a dog, took it from him and raised it because he was "irresponsible" (drug addicted, alcoholics rarely are responsible, but apparently make great AP's.).

She agreed to give the dog up as I do not want any reminders/triggers in our lives now that we are trying to reconcile. She had moved back in with me (although she still has a free apt. for her work), gave the dog to her daughter and we were doing well.

Last week the daughter called and said she could not keep the dog. W rushed to the daughter's house, picked up the dog, moved back into her apt. and has been gone ever since. She is starting to waffle on giving the dog away.

I am torn. The dog didn't do anything, but still the W's devotion to it and willingness to leave me have me baffled. I don't think she understands how distressed I am about her leaving with the dog as a motivation.

When she left the first time, it was with the understanding that we were still a couple, the apt. was our "second home" aand we would be together forever. Now, she's making the same sounds, but it feels all too familiar.

What should my response to this be. I've thought about ending it, but I did say we'd try for six months (end of January), but I'm very leery of getting burned again.

phoenixrivers


Me: xBetrayedBF (xBBF)
Her: xWaywardGF (xWGF)
TT: 12/21/12
Splitsville: 1/6/13
DDay: 7/20/13
In active reconcilliation
"Nobody knows anybody...not that well." Tom Reagan, "Miller's Crossing"

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Orleans, LA
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could not keep this dog. I love dogs. This is like keeping and wearing a piece of jewelry the AP gave to her.

She can find the dog a good home. Yes, she loves the dog, but it is a dog the AP gave her. Period.


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1409 | Registered: Jun 2012
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix - it took my husband 5 months and 1 day to sell his affair car. That was about 5 months too long. I almost left over this, not because of the technicalities of it, but because of HIS ATTITUDE about selling it.
It is such a fucking entitlement attitude. No, she doesn't get it.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4471 | Registered: Dec 2010
Markone
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, can you tell her that it feels very much like she's putting the dog's welfare above the welfare of R. What would she say in reposnse to that? I'm not saying to just discard the dog but she has to feel that she is in danger of losing you unless she makes her priorities clear.


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 407 | Registered: Dec 2010
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get a cat.


Seriously, she's placing a gift from the AP above you?

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11

Forget her and the M for a while. Work on healing yourself. Obviously she doesn't get it. Give her the time. N/C, kids and finances only.

When she quits looking past her navel lint and see's what her choices have wrought, maybe you'll be interested in R, maybe not.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2538 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.