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User Topic: Just peeked at OW's Facebook...
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is so darned pretty.

Feeling like crap. Just had to tell someone.


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1409 | Registered: Jun 2012
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, but never judge a book by it's cover. Beauty is only skin deep, but think of what you know she's like on the inside.

I guess I'm lucky in that aspect. H friend said OW looks like the south end of a donkey headed north


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 652 | Registered: Jun 2012
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine looks slightly like me before I lost 50 pounds. :( I hate this. Just hate it.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
niaveone
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought the same thing the first time I visited OW's FB page. Then I really looked at them again after my friends were adamant she was "rode hard and put away wet". She was. Very hard lines, wrinkles, too much makeup and 90's hair styles.

I didn't know whether to feel good or bad about it.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 16 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 193 | Registered: Aug 2013
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((brokensmile322)))

I'm sorry you are struggling. For quite a while I compared myself to the OW. One day, what she looked like won't matter. Please remember that you are a beautiful person with a wonderful heart.


Posts: 33738 | Registered: Mar 2011
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I do not know which is worse....prettier or, since this is the R forum, facially challenged. Either way, they all look alike on the inside.

I am sorry you just now saw her. If available, I think we all should get to see who we are dealing with. Her face should not be a secret to you. I do not know how you have waited this long. Think of this another hurdle you have cleared and will eventually put behind you on your way to healing.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1382 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, y'all.
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in my situation is a former Miss Hawaiian Tropic, and has underwear and bathing suit modeling pictures online. I found a message from wBF sending his brother the link for her modeling pictures. So I torture myself probably once a week looking at them, and comparing myself to her.

Just keep telling yourself that you are awesome. Eventually, one day, I hope I believe that about myself again.

[This message edited by Lonelygirl10 at 8:39 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Jul 2013
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I was prompted to look because the reality is that I will be spending 7 days with her in about 6 months. I did know what she looked like,kinda, but her facebook was private for quite awhile, I guess.

I still do not know if I can do it. And looking at her...well it seems I will not be able to do it.

How do you do that, even if you avoid as best you can and not still feel like crap?


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1409 | Registered: Jun 2012
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you spending 7 days with her?


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Jul 2013
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Business trip... a disaster really. Something my WH has worked his whole career to be able to do. Just don't think I can do it, but that is a whole other post.

What was getting me today is that she is really pretty.

The only thing I have to hold on to is that she is not married yet and seems to not be able to keep a man. Something must be wrong with her, right?


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1409 | Registered: Jun 2012
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's something wrong with everyone. No one is perfect in this world.

And physical looks aren't everything. I don't know your story, but your husband is with you, not her. So there's some reason out there why he chose you, why you are better than her to him. When you're feeling insecure, cling to that thought. And maybe ask him why he chose you, if you haven't already. Let him tell you what's wrong with her and why he chose you in the end.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Jul 2013
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

( here's hoping I don't get flagged for my response)

Here is a visual that may help you:

Think of a big, beautiful present. One with the most gorgeous wrapping you can possibly imagine.
Now, while thinking of this beautiful box....open it up to discover that inside is a heaping, steaming, smelly, helping of cow poop!!

Just remember, the packaging is NOT what matters! It's what's inside the box that TRULY counts!!


ME- BS 46
HIM- WS 47
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, but I am not beautiful, but I was somewhat attractive when I was younger. Occasionally I still take a nice picture. Do you seriously think she (or anyone) posts any but the bests pictures on FB?

And this post from earlier in the week really resonated with me. I saved it but I have forgotten who wrote it. I am sorry about that, as it is a work of art.

A single woman has many other single women to compete with for an attractive and successful single man.
It's easier to compete with an unknowing betrayed spouse.

My soon to be ex got involved with a single colleague from work. She's average, nothing special and married men don't have a large pool of quality women to choose from. A quality woman won't go near a married man because she's got better options than that.

Desperate woman and married man are a match made in heaven.

She isn't worth your effort.


Me-BS-60-Can't tell you how painful it was to change this number!
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3258 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
hailstormer
♀ Member
Member # 35873
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I understanding this correctly a business trip with you the OW and your BS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME Even if your in reconciliation there would be no way in hell I would allow my WS to go on business trips WITH OW even with you in tow that could be a major disaster. She's not pretty! If she knows about you and his relationship then she is just a piece of ugly crap with fake beauty on the outside. Don't you think she spent plenty of time tweaking those FB photos KNOWING that you would be checking her out
Hoes aren't pretty they just think they are smart trying to fool the spouses.
Sorry to be the first one to hit ya with the 2x4 but I have the worse UGLY hoe OW that loves to post pretty pics of herself AND tell me that if I would have taken care of my hubby when he was with me he wouldn't be with her now......What kind of "pretty" person can have an affair with a committed spouse knowing everything about them???
AN UGLY WORTHLESS ONE!!!!!!!
Good luck on your trip

[This message edited by hailstormer at 9:52 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]


me(BS)-55
him(WS)-53
together 21 years
1st D-Day 4-19-10
2nd D-Day 5-3-12
married 19 years
2 kids 13-twins
Unfortunately...divorcing

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Florida
Landoes
♂ Member
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It hurts your ego, self esteem
I saw a picture of the OM, he was younger, thinner etc
How are we going to compete with young?!
I've detached myself from my WGF and have not even felt the urge to have sex with her. I feel like I'm guilting her into making ground beef when she wanted steak.
Manhood and self esteem...out the window.

[This message edited by Landoes at 9:44 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]


Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2013
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((brokensmile322)))

I so understand. OW in our situation is very very pretty also, and a fitness instructor , & 20 yrs younger than WH & I.

I have always been average weight ( not thin), used to jog a little, walk now because I am in my late 50s, people tell me that I look young for my age, everything is relative.
But , there is no way that my body can compare to someone who is 20 yrs younger who has never had children when I have been pregnant so many times (all by WH) & had 4 very large babies.

I have been torturing myself about this since Dday.

But, there is nothing I can do about it. I can exercise more & become more muscular, but childbirth & menopause change a woman's body.


As you can tell, this is still a big issue for me. I compare myself to OW all the time.

I know, inside she is garbage, whereas I am a loving mom & professional ( I have a much higher degree of education/profession than OW)
& still I feel so bad about myself.
So, just letting you know that I understand.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Dec 2012
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Scaredycat--I LOVE that quote you posted. I keep thinking about how pretty the OW is. But you're completely right. If she was all that great, then she could have had anyone that she set her eyes on. But she couldn't get a single man because she's not all that great. She had to latch on to my wBF while we were having issues. I love, love, love that quote.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Jul 2013
hailstormer
♀ Member
Member # 35873
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By the way they call them hoe-workers.
Just sayin.....


me(BS)-55
him(WS)-53
together 21 years
1st D-Day 4-19-10
2nd D-Day 5-3-12
married 19 years
2 kids 13-twins
Unfortunately...divorcing

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Florida
emotionalgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in my case could be my twin other than the fact that she smokes and is a brunette and I am a redhead. Showed my BFF the picture and she was horrified, we could literally be twins separated at birth. The only thing I have to hang on to is the response to my post on the issue that said that I have class, dignity and self respect, where as she does not. How can you and spend time with a married man trying to make him yours. She is just a shallow version of me.


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 10:22 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since this is now a vent thread, we are forced to move it to General.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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