TS, you seem pretty fine with the whole thing, so I'm not going to push you to get the truth.
Buy you're living with an abuser. And you've chosen to ignore all the posts that have stated this in this thread. Ignoring it won't make it go away.
If your children are truly your first concern as you've said multiple times, I'm finding it hard to understand why you'd continually subject them to his abuse.
Please get help.