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Newest Member: Gladiator5 (45339)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just realized something (personal growth)
SoHappyNow
♀ Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My love language is touch. I can practically start purring from the sheer pleasure of sitting close to my sweetie. I always used to be at my happiest whenever my late husband would reach out and hold my hand or hug me.

Today, as I frequently do, I went over and sat on the couch where my SO was lying. I put one arm around one of his knees and just patted his leg. After a bit, my "touch savings account" had plumped up and I got up to come over and sit in my recliner.

He doesn't chase me around stroking me during the daytime. He DOES sleep spooned with my back turned to him, which I really like.

And I realized: I don't ever have to feel needy or neglected or anything of the sort. When I want or need something, I just get up and get it for myself or ask for it freely (like "honey, I need a hug"). Why couldn't I have figured out this simple thing years ago instead of wishing and hoping the guy would read my mind - and having emotional pain when he didn't??!!

[This message edited by hit-by-a-train at 3:22 PM, September 27th (Friday)]


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14


Posts: 2295 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage



Posts: 35873 | Registered: Mar 2011
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Touch makes me purr too. Glad you know how to build up your reservoir!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15289 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 5:02 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in as another one who purrs when touched.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a toucher and also want to be touched. Definitely my love langauge too.

I don't ever have to feel needy or neglected or anything of the sort. When I want or need something, I just get up and get it for myself or ask for it freely (like "honey, I need a hug"). Why couldn't I have figured out this simple thing years ago instead of wishing and hoping the guy would read my mind - and having emotional pain when he didn't??!!

I know now that I'm older,I appreciate everything so much more and that may be because I have the time that I didn't have when I was young.
In many ways, we do get better the older we get. Not everything is lost on the young.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the same realization during my marriage, but I also got rejected when I asked for what I needed - A LOT.

SO shares my love language of touch so we have a very mutually beneficial relationship where we ask for, and get what we need from each other.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7739 | Registered: Aug 2005
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMGosh...I just took the test (for the 2nd time in my life...but as a single person now...cause I took it when I was in False R the 1st time) and I got a THREE WAY TIE!!!! WTH!!!???

9 - Physical Touch
9 - Words of Affirmation
9 - Quality Time

And then 3 for Acts of Service and nothing for gifts. I don't care about that stuff.

Now I'm really confused about myself!!!! Does this just make me really needy???


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

would someone post a link to the test please?


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you google 5 love languages, you'll find it. The author of the book is Gary Chapman.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh sorry, I thought it was an online test..


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

there is an online quiz that goes with the book. I just don't happen to know the link for the quiz off the top of my head. Also, the book goes into a lot more detail about each love language, after you take the quiz. :)


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Topic Posts: 12

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