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User Topic: Has anyone ever talked to OW to put pieces together
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I don't see the point in talking to the OW. My WS is trying to shield her from me for some reason. (I have not seen him since before dday because he travels for work.)
They are both cowards living in a fantasy land.
I filed for D and his deadline for responding is MONDAY. Still he hasn't responded.
They deserve each other and what diseases they get. I am so done with WS.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just didn't bother. He was telling me the good, bad and ugly. I figured if he told me Ugly #27, why do I need to ask her for her version. I felt it would give her power.

I sat him down. Looked him the eyes and said, "Listen, I am going to ask you some remaining questions and if you cannot answer me with the truth, then you might as well get your things and leave now. You have wasted enough of my time. Say nothing if you cannot speak the truth. Say nothing and walk out the door."

I asked. He answered. I felt I knew all I needed to know (and I knew so damn much).

It's been 10 months since D-Day. I figure if she was sorry for what she participated in she would have contacted me. She's not. Thank goodness I did not give her that power.

[This message edited by LA44 at 9:29 PM, September 27th (Friday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2441 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After DDay #1 I tried calling her. She said I had the wrong number and then told WS that she would have me arrested if I tried contacting her again. Then later told him she would talk to me "if she promised to stay calm" Fuck her.

After DDay #2, I think she knew she got the short end of the stick too. She reached out, apologizing, and telling me that she would answer any questions I had. I called her and stayed calm, because I wanted to know her side. I figured if I freaked out she wouldn't talk to me.

Even though I think a lot of it was embellished and lies, I did catch my WS in some lies too once I heard her side. They way they got back together was ALL on him according to her, whereas it was mutual according to him. SHE was the one telling the truth. She told me about a secret phone he had, a key to her house, when they would get together, what he told her about me, etc. All of it embellished and/or lies on his part too.

I confronted him with this info and he was shell shocked to the point he couldn't lie quick enough so he told the truth. NO WAY did he even fathom I would actually talk to OW because I didn't the first time around.

I still talk to her on and off for different reasons and even though we will never be friends, I appreciate the fact that she has kept the lines open with me so if I ever need to ask anything of her, I can.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 17 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 250 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew OW and talked to her several times after d-day due to circumstances beyond my control. I wouldn't ask her anything. As someone said, I wouldn't give her the power.
One day she called to see how I was doing and as soon as we hung up she called my husband. She called on another number and when he realized who it was he said, OW, don't ever f/n call me again! She cared so much about me she needed to check with my husband. NOT

DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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