We separated in April 2012. I wanted to R from the beginning but he was determined to stay separated to carry on his long-distance EA with OW#4. It wasn't until 6 months later, when I told him that I was ready to file, that he pulled his head out of his ass. He could clearly see that I was just done...and that he had messed up.
They had consummated their "lurve" for 4 days in July 2012 but broke up not too long after that because they "weren't compatible". He didn't tell me though.
After I told him I was done in October 2012, we started talking again. Started flirting. Started dating. We basically fell in love again. We were both cautious during the next few months. He didn't want to hurt me/kids again by coming home too soon - before he had his issues worked out in his own head. I was trying to protect me and the kids too. We had both changed and we spent time getting to know the new people we had become.
Then one night in January 2013 he showed up at the house with the flu. He stayed all weekend while I took care of him. As he started feeling better, we started really talking about Everything. By the end of that weekend, we didn't have any more doubts. We wanted to be together for US. Not for the kids, although they benefitted also.
It took a 10 month separation for him to finally grow up and really appreciate what he had all along. And I learned to stand up for myself - which I thought I was doing the previous 20 years. Turns out I was a trusting fool.
We reconciled because ultimately we belong together. We are a perfect fit for each other in every way. We still have bumps in the road occassionally. But we work them out together. We prioritize our marriage as #1 now, even above the kids.
I KNOW deep in my soul that he loves me and I love him. That's why we are together...