I can tell you now at 4 months post d-day I am much much better. Don't get me wrong, it's still hell on earth but I have become stronger. And I can't chime in enough about exercise, that has become my "medication". Makes a WORLD of difference.
For me the scary can't eat, can't sleep, can't work, can't function, cry all the time, rage all the time, feeling on the verge of a breakdown period really started getting under control around the 3 month mark. I know we are all different.
[This message edited by OldCow18 at 10:58 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
I did have some valium leftover from years ago when I was flying out of state for some family/friends stuff, but they've since expired.
Before I even knew of the A, I had gone in for a minor problem and asked for something to take if/when I travelled out of state again. The doc didn't give me valium, but gave me Xanax to take as needed.
With the DDay#2 (Trickle Truth), I was reeling. I finally decided I cannot cope so twisted up and dug out the Xanax & took one. I noticed that for me, it peaked (that might not be the right word) after about 3 hours--that is, I overtly noticed that I felt *very* calm and better able to cope, 3 hours after taking it. It didn't work immediately, but started working within, I'd say, 45 minutes.
So yes, I'm taking meds to cope. I go from a shrieking harpy to devastating hurt & inability to cope, to numb, to bottomless anger & loathing, to unstoppable crying (the latest cry lasted about 8 hours), to indifference to ...well, you know all the variations and the in-betweens.
The meds help me function within normal limits. I don't feel the need to take one every day. I still feel things of course, I still experience things and go experience things, but like with Paxil, I feel more evened-out without the extremes most of the time.
"Integrity is doing the right thing even if/when no one is watching."
[This message edited by Hope2B at 7:31 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
It helps just to know I have the option.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Being very, very careful
D-day 14 June 2013
I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!