(B is my WH)
"Hey I didn't want to have to write you but B has me blocked on everything I just need to know if there's any sort of family medical history I need to know about like any problems I should prepare for? I was just getting questioned by the doctor the other day about his hearing because he failed his hearing test when he was born and they said if I could find out about B's history I should. I mean he's fine now because he passed his retest last week I'm just making sure I shouldn't be worried about it."
She's fishing right?
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
FTbitch. OMG. I just want to delete fb completely. Is she stalking me? She just had a baby, she shouldn't have time to stalk little ol' me???
Apparently she made a new account and messaged me...
I just blocked that one immediately, no response.
She probably just wants to remind me that her and OC exist and they are happy with her new H.
I'm so mad. I was quite enjoying my no contact. Will she forever haunt me?
I can see that she's interested in her baby It's probably a fishing expedition.
How old is the baby? Like don't you think if she was really concerned she could have asked then?
You did the right thing but she is probably going to try to pull this stuff for a long time.
Maybe I am naive, but I think it is worth considering the possibility that she wants medical information about her child's father.
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
I guess i'm just ranting and venting. But omg, will I ever escape?
She had 7 months to ask, but she doesn't take interest until after she sees that we are actually sticking to NC?
I'm not trying to arguing with you, I just highly doubt that she doesn't have fishing motivations. Why did she create a new account and contact me instead of him? We both have her blocked, so if she creates a new FB with neither of us blocking her...why am I the one she contacts?
[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:23 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]
Obviously WH should have found his brain and shoved it back into his head in the first place, but I mean, seriously...
[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:36 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.
Nothing legal is going on (right now). She says this guy is the dad now.
When WH gets back from overseas he can always visit an L and see what he can do, but I wouldn't withhold information if it was truly needed for the child. I just don't want to give her ego kibble or forever have power to hurl new darts at me with "questions about the baby" when WH isn't even parenting. Just USING the baby to be a bitch.
[This message edited by Tired05 at 11:34 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]
As far as her not asking medical history before getting pregnant, well I understand it upsets you that she got pregnant on purpose, but imagine how much more upsetting it would have been had she taken a medical history first. I can only imagine the trauma had your husband actually jumped through a bunch of hoops to qualify before impregnating her. If she really is as manipulative as you describe, he probably would have jumped through those hoops anyway.
Most people actually try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible because they are generally inefficient, add to conflict, are expensive, and just not regarded very highly. Of course by most people I mean me, but...
She may be fishing, or she may have thought that was actually a good way to get the info. that she sort of decided she needed all of a sudden. If she got preg on purpose while having an A, I don't blame you for being suspicous of her motives; that is for sure.
I feel like shit and a little childish. A simple few words, impersonal quick, and to the point could work, but if she gets that...will she keep pushing??? Will that open up the floodgate? Will she always have some excuse to talk to WH 'because of the baby, even though WH isn't having to pay child support or getting visitation?
So is she honestly and truthfully worried about her child or is she using the child to continue contact and insert herself back into the M? Is it a little of both?
If I just give her a quick med summary (give an inch) will she take a mile?
ETA- Also, there isn't anything big in his family to speak of, outside of his mother's anxiety and depression. So since there isn't anything she needs to worry about like a case of deafness or cancer or whathaveyou, then the kid wouldn't benefit from a response. So do I respond to give her piece of mind in exchange for me having to deal with everything that comes with repeated broken NC? Fuck her piece of mind.
I don't wanna leave the door cracked open for the rest of my life so she can peek her eyes through and keep me in a state of anxiety and sadness.
[This message edited by Tired05 at 8:43 AM, September 29th (Sunday)]
Yes, she had a lot of time to ask about your WH's medical history previously. But sometimes people don't even really think about it until an issue arises. Such as when the child encounters some medical issue and the doc turns to the parent and asks whether <that> issue is present in any other family members, kwim? And since that is what seems to have happened here......I can see why she contacted you now.
As for why, if she set up a dummy account, she contacted you instead of your WH? Maybe she did it because she *wasn't* trying to cause trouble. She contacts you with her request and that way you receive the message and know what was said, kwim? She can't be accused of reaching out to your WH. I've read about some others in an OC situation and it seems that a lot of them have any contact run through the BS in order to minimize contact between the WH and OW.
You could either respond that there are no problems that you are aware of that she should prepare for in regards to the health of the baby; OR you guys can give her permission to share your WH's contact info with the baby's pediatrician and if there's ever any concern about medical history, then the doctor's office is allowed to contact him directly.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Personal feelings and hurt aside. The child does need to know his or her health history. Please find a way without contacting OW to give that info. Thats really the least your wh can do for this child. You dont deserve any of this. I know this.