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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Money
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm getting much better at looking like I don't care about the things the boys tell me about her. I'm hoping all that pretending will eventually turn into the real thing. Once in a while it happens.

Not today.

When I first moved out, she told me that it would take all her income ($90,000/year) to keep up the house on her own, so she wouldn't be able to support me. I said okay, of course, I'm not looking for a rescue.

She then proceeded to buy a new (bigger!) car, get a natural gas hookup to the house, buy a new furnace, go whitewater rafting, ride in a glider, go on a "solo" overnight trip to Montreal, the list goes on.

I've had a really hard time working on account of my depression, and spent about the first three months after moving just crying all day. As a result, I have burned through my savings, and have no money at all.

I've been busking to make extra grocery money, and went to the food bank last week. I told The Princess that I am out of money. I said that of course I'm not asking for help, but wanted to let her know that's why I can't pay for the boys' music lessons like I did last year.

She phoned me that night to say that REALLY I am asking for help because I can't contribute as much. Then she proceeded to tell me how she is going further into debt each month, because she is spending "more than she makes". So basically, she wanted to make me feel like shit.

Last year, I made about a third of what she did.

The boys said she bought a new barbecue (there was nothing wrong with the one they had), a new fire pit for the backyard, and a cord of wood to burn in that pit.

This is seven days after we had that conversation, where she made me feel like shit!

Fucking hate her!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2142 | Registered: Jan 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is a piece of work pass, I despise her for you too.

As if being cheated on isn't bad enough, the atrocities they commit and continue to commit post DDay/S/D are just beyond fucking cruel.

Sorry she is such a shit.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The betrayals beyond infidelity were surprising for me too.

A few SI-isms:
Cheaters lie. Liars cheat.
Don't expect in D what you didn't get in your M.

What a piece of work.

The sad clown is using my investment in his career to buy OWUmpteen and her friends cocaine and champagne lifestyle whilst telling everyone that I've ripped him off (he doesn't tell them he pays $8k p/a CS on a $250k+ income).

I guess buying friends is expensive, buying a GF even more expensive.

It still makes me mad that my financial retirement was tied up in such a loser. I'll be fine day-to-day and will have to make up the rest once the girls are grown but I'll be in my 50s by then.

What percentage of the boys costs are you each paying? I have 70/30 which is our income split as of today. That will grow as the split gets bigger (he's at the bottom of his earning capacity, I'm at the top of mine). If he decides to reneg on that (which I completely expect he will) then the girls will only get to do what I can afford to pay 30% of without having to live on cheese and toast. It sucks but I'm preparing myself for it emotionally as best I can.

I stupidly had children I can't afford on my own if I want any sort of financial security in my future. I'm now forced between the two and my girls come first. I'll make it work. Lots of people do.

It.still.sucks.arse. Big time. One of the most bitter pills to swallow.

Its hard but you do need to stop looking over the fence. I say this to myself as much as to you.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know how hard it is. I am living it. We go from paycheck to paycheck. I have my kids 90% of the time. The xwh is living the high life with his Wifestress yet can't pay his child support on time and is 6 months behind in paying his portion of our out of pocket medical expenses for the therapy for our SN son that he needs to function. It's getting to the point where I won't be able to continue to support his therapy.

The x makes at least twice I make a year plus they have the wifestress' income which is at least twice mine as well. Yet he screams he's broke.

My advice as much as it's difficult right now don't give her the satisfaction of breaking you anymore. Don't communicate with her.

Are you divorced yet? Can you claim some spousal support at all? We don't have that here so unsure of how that works where you are.

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 7:08 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1363 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is the financial agreement you two have right now? Can you modify it?


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't expect in D what you didn't get in your M

Dude, you got that right!

We don't have any separation agreement written up at this point. We're each paying for our own households, which would average out about right if I could get my brain back to work again.

I swear I'm trying.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2142 | Registered: Jan 2013
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We don't have any separation agreement written up at this point.

I hope you're working towards one! These things have a way of deteriorating over time. I for one feel more secure by having our broad agreement locked in. Otherwise he could do WTF-ever he likes without recourse.

He still tries to yank my chain by being purposefully obtuse about certain clauses but it's all bark, no bite.

When I set out my interpretation of the clause and its intention he actually said "interpretation has no place in Family Law"

I so wish it was true - millions of lawyers would be jobless if that was the case, fuckwit.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 7

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