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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The family tree
5boysmom
♀ New Member
Member # 32928
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just yesterday as i was picking up all the branches in the front yard with you, I thought, would she do this, is she the kind of person he wants to pick up branches with, look at a job well done and say yes , together we did this? I Stopped myself from crying, I looked up at the tree that has been in our yard all these years, the tree my kids climbed, fell out of and the tree was a comfort for me in that moment. It has been a comfort for all of us. this tree offered us shade in the hot summer months, many a football play was described and executed under this tree.
So many games and life experiences were done under this tree. many Piņata's were broken for birthdays under her. Halloween monsters were hung here to scare all the neighbor kids. under her kids slid on our homemade slip n slide. There are so many memories made here under this tree. And thru the years of rain, storms, harsh winds the tre is still here, thriving.
The tree was strong under any thing that came its way. I now see this tree as hope, long after I am gone, my family tree will still be here. Why because it was taken care of and loved
by us all. Maybe we never told the tree, who tell a tree you love them? but we all did.
Then I stop my thoughts, does he love this tree? does he love me? does he love us, his family? does he even see this tree like I do? does he have these thoughts when he sees the tree? Or does he just see this tree as another responsibility, a job, and resents the tree? Does he even see all that this tree represents about us, our family Does he ever stop and revel in how majestic it is?
I start to shed a tear, its me! I'm here, I am the tree!
I am the tree with all it's broken branches, from all the storms I faced, for all th3e times I was not watered, all the years I was not loved by you. I was the tree you walked by every day and ignored.

I am asking you to see the tree, it is yours now. You should take a moment today to sit on the porch and look at this tree, its strong, beautiful and resilient. You should admire all this tree has given you and asked nothing in return but care.

There are so many trees we pass each day, we must stop and see the trees and what they represent, in our own yards and each others.

[This message edited by 5boysmom at 3:52 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]


Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2011
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so beautiful {5boysmom}. I really understand the sentiments you expressed so vividly.

I often wonder HOW he could have turned his back on a lifetime of "us things" of "family things" for cheap thrills with her.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1024 | Registered: Oct 2012
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((5boysmom)))
First off, 5 boys?! You go girl!!
Thank you for sharing that very touching analogy, beautifully written.
"strong, beautiful and resilient" yes we are, yes we are.
Take care,


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 494 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely beautifully written! Thanks for sharing.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 719 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 2:14 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have a tree too.

I feel like I've watched it grow alongside our children. Every special picture -- first day of school, Halloween costumes, etc -- has been taken next to that tree.

I often think about those early photographs -- my little ones standing about the same height. These days it's grown and offers a shaded reprieve from the hot climate we live in.

It's a desert tree...covered in thorns. My children couldn't climb it, and leaning against it could result in a stab to the back.

Ah, those stabs to the back...oh how they hurt!

And yet...every year, there is a nest. Mourning doves -- they mate for life. Couples come and couples go. They work together to keep watch over their home, taking turns nesting over their children to keep them warm and fed. Each feather is loyal, and the thorns don't deter them from supporting each other.

One day we'll leave this home -- and that tree -- behind. I was one person when we moved in, and I will be leaving a much different woman. I hope the ache from those thorns numbs one day.


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is every bit as brilliant as it is beautiful, Kickboxer:
And yet...every year, there is a nest. Mourning doves -- they mate for life. Couples come and couples go. They work together to keep watch over their home, taking turns nesting over their children to keep them warm and fed. Each feather is loyal, and the thorns don't deter them from supporting each other.

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
5boysmom
♀ New Member
Member # 32928
Happy  Posted: 12:08 PM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your post's.
I seem to feel so often, that he just does not feel. He is in ic and has realized that he has deep emotional disconnect with people and is working on this. It like he hears it from his doctor, now after 24 years is doing what I have asked for all along our marriage? And here I am with sadness, and he cant connect with me to help me heal!
This is a very lonely journey and without you all I don't want to think of the outcome!

I want to say thank you so much to everyone, this comes from deep within my heart!


Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 7

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