Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Elizablue (43208)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Sex with ap
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WS said that the only thing he enjoyed about sex was how it made his ego feel. He didn't really like looking at her naked because it was awful. But because she moaned and acted like a pornstsr he felt good. Ow told me sex with my wh was amazing and he lasted forever but WS says it was short and not that great.
I obviously don't believe him:( were any of your spouses honest about how the sex was?


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 134 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
tryinginmi
♀ Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I knew. He says it was horrible and he didn't cum. I don't have a clue what to believe and just basically decided to not hold my breath in anything anymore.


Me - BW 38
Him - FWH 38
Her - MOW 46 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA


Posts: 954 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
hitbyatruck
♀ Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 12:19 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex can be great for one partner and not so great for the other but....

You can never really know (unless you found video or dated emails) how it really went down. For me just knowing my H had sex with someone else was enough detail.


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3277 | Registered: Apr 2009
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He won't tell me...I will never know the true story..I sometimes wonder if anyone gets it entirely. I would prob not believe a word the ow said though...


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3974 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 2:20 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He won't share any of those details with me.

He says he can't remember, but it feels like he just wants to keep it all to himself instead. His own little fantasty -- lived out, and kept a secret forever inside his mind so he can revisit whenever he desires for the rest of our lives.

I want to know everything.


BW - 41 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 4:07 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not about the sex.

It isn't.

Truly great sex is found in truly great committed relationships.

You don't get that in a cheating relationship.

You do get thrills mentally from the risky behavior and by violating boundaries though. That is why it is capricious, why condoms don't get used, why people do things that you or I just can't fathom.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 894 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 5:00 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH told me how sex w/main OW was way, way better than w/me. Mind you, he was drunk, high & screaming his face off. This was followed by how I was only good for sex & that I sucked in bed.

I know how lousy sex w/XH was the last year+. So ... his great sex w/cum burping whore was prolly ... boring as hell. Other than the delightful, forbidden, cheating on the wifey aspect.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd; free of the overgrown baby
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 634 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:47 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH said it wasn't that good because he felt guilty while he was doing it.
On the other hand, I heard him say to the MC at another time that he continued contact with OW because the sex was so good.
It is a big issue for me now.
I feel very insecure in bed.
I have verbalized this to WH, & he says no, its great for him. But that doesn't help, when I am constantly comparing myself to a woman who is much prettier, younger, thinner, & has never had kids. Even last night, during an intimate time, I almost started crying , thinking, did you do this with her, & I'm sure it felt better with her.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1095 | Registered: Dec 2012
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

were any of your spouses honest about how the sex was?

How would anybody really be able to answer that? It seems like you are saying you already know the answer (the sex was great) and if they don't answer that way, they are not being honest.

I don't even believe in lie detector tests for this stuff. You can't know if somebody is being honest about that. Just my two cents.


Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2006
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everything I know about the act itself,I was told by the AP. WH told me nothing. He confirmed what I was told to be the truth.

I know he has thoughts and feelings about what he did. But he will never share those with me.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6649 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Both wxh and whore said that he couldn't get hard, and when he did it wouldn't stay hard.

Whatever.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7031 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know if it wasnt good in one way or the other ( physically or mentally) they wouldnt of kept going back.
But what was keeping them going back is what they have to figure out themselves so they don't repeat the behavior. Just my opinion.
Now my FWS was so ashamed he said he didnt get off. I told his AP that too but she said he did. Haha. I dont care either way just knowing she knew he was so embarrassed of fn her he said that made me laugh.
FWIW if the waywards keep saying blag blah happened I believe sometimes to live with themselves they start to believe that is what happened.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3140 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did not ask and never will. I did not want the gory details of their sex life. I have never had a problem with a guy before, so if he wasn't happy with our sex life, then that is on him. Not Me. I have enough mind movies to last me a lifetime without it. If he thought it was so fantastic then he needed to go be with the OW and not stay with me as far as I am concerned. I can only pray that the OW is sitting around mourning the loss of her love to someone that really didn't care when all was said and done.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Youre never going to know the truth unless you were there or saw a video. Then you still wont be sure one of them wasnt faking it.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8210 | Registered: Sep 2007
SabbyKat
♀ New Member
Member # 40800
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to beg for sex yet my SO had no problem having sex with other woman.I did not ask the details.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Michigan
cancuncrushed
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no information about anything. Its all denials. It hurts me to consider it. My H was the most amazing lover I could ever imagine. It kills me to think Ow may agree. This was special. Now, its very different. Insecurities for me, doubt, and premature EJ for him. I researched it. Its 99 percent physcological.???? The doubts grow. I dont miss it afterall.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 3:57 PM, September 30th (Monday)]


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 858 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
PositiveAttitude
♀ Member
Member # 40624
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW hasn't told me about the sex . . . Because thankfully I don't know her.

DH told me that during the years I was frigid and repressed (I took lots of hurt and anger or on him by being sexually lazy and uninvolved) the A sex was rock star quality.

He also told me (when he was still in the thick of the Affair post DDay - false R) that he and I were far more sexually compatible and I was better in bed than OW.

I believe him on both accounts. What disgusts me the most about the A sex was that he was still having cold, boring sex (but sex, nonetheless) with me.


Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From:
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gawd I'm at the point where it better have been amazing sex to have risked everything important in your life for.

I don't believe what my WH says, I chose to believe my own version, but I am getting to where it doesn't bother me anymore.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2250 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
mellie99
♀ Member
Member # 39712
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH had multiple one night stands (no LTA to my knowledge) and actually said he enjoyed sex with me more because I was more "adventurous" than the others minus his last encounter. Better or worse doesn't make a difference to me; the thought of him having sex with another person sickens me. However, I hope it was worth it to him because he may never have me again...still undecided at this point.


Me: BW (32)
Him: WS (31)-Multiple ONS
Married: 1/3/05 Together since 5/2002
D-Day #1-3/2009 (4 years after the fact)
D-Day #2 3/2013(he confessed to 3 more ONS, 1 the month I found out I was pregnant)

Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
TrulySad
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most people like sex. So it's safe to say it was good when our W's had it with someone else. Add to it the thrill of being new and wrong, and they may think it's incredible.

BUT in the end it's still a P going into a V. Not exactly something new. So when it comes to how our W's saw it, I actually believe in the end, most of them realize after it's all done, out in the open, and the novilty has worn off, it was cheap and just what I wrote: a P going into a V.

When we throw love and commitement, history and family, marriage and real life into the mix, the sex we have with our W's tops anything they had with their cheap AP.


Me: WGF
Him: WBF
Together two years DD Feb. 2013
I think we are R??? Time will tell

Posts: 359 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.