It's now a month after d-day for me, my WH told me about his affair but then 2 weeks later I found all their messages on his phone proving he was not only still in contact with her but planning a trip away with her for what was to be this weekend. I confronted him with this and he left. He has been living elsewhere since then.
After he cooled down he wanted to move back, I said no and gave him a list of my non-negotiables (end affair, no contact, individual and marriage counselling, nothing too startling) yesterday I met him to exchange some paperwork, he told me that this affair was actually his 4th, and while I was struggling at home doing everything and looking after our four kids including at the time 3 month old twins he was out, not working as I thought but dating women he was meeting at work-related networking events. He let slip to each of them fairly early on that he was married and they all refused to let things go past the dinners out (paid for with joint funds while i was struggling to cover household expenses??!!!!) this affair I guess he got better at living a double life and it continued for some months and became physical.
Firstly I have no idea if even this is the whole truth. It was volunteered, it seemed plausible, but then it's not like the truth has been something he's been well acquainted with for a while...
I feel kind of shell-shocked at yet again finding out things weren't what I thought they were, as in this affair wasn't what I thought it was but part of a sad, sick revolting larger picture, and it's not just the last few months of my life that make no sense but the entire last year...
I don't think I even feel angry, It feels like I've started right back at denial and disbelief... is that even possible?
We have marriage counselling in just over a week, until then I have no desire to talk to him unless it involves finances and kids. I feel almost totally shut down emotionally.
Any thoughts, I feel like I felt clear about dealing with one affair but this whole serial picking up women until he managed to pull off the affair he'd been looking for? I just don't even know what to do with that.