Don't you think that a more stable R is more vital than building a business?

"Not only did you have an affair on your H, but you are now going to tell him he has to suck it up concerning a prior arrangement concerning the children and how they are raised. Do you think this is fair?"

It's my H's idea and he's encouraging it. He feels I'm not challenged or stimulated enough and has suggested that if I focus on a goal that I'm passionate about, then perhaps my attention will shift from "how shitty my marriage is" to a wider context of "my marriage isn't so bad".

What's not going to go down well with him is the re-negotiation of child-care. This is where things get complicated. He is encouraging and supportive but it cannot be at any cost to his life and work. As long as it's done within the remits of what he feels is acceptable, then all is well.

If me starting my own business (which he is encouraging) means he has to perhaps cancel a few meetings once in a while to tend to sick kids or whatever, this will be unacceptable to him. This is what I'm referring to when I say this is going to be a tough one.

I think it's the right thing to do, although the work involved does concern me, I'm determined and have someone who wants to work on it with me. It's one of those ideas that will take a few years to fruition but it's work in progress.

[This message edited by Trying33 at 3:13 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]

A fun suggestion if you ever feel like having your own party. About once or twice a year, we have "Bitch n switch" parties with potluck snacks. Everyone brings stuff from clothes you don't wear anymore, outgrown kids clothes, household stuff, crafts or whatever and organize into categories. Draw names from a hat to create the order of picking stuff. Everyone gets a turn to select one item they want. And near the end of the party, we do a free for all. The remaining stuff gets donated to charity. It's always so fun. My H is always surprised when I come home with lots of great loot. Last party I snagged a bunch of maternity clothes. He thinks it's funny that we do that but we have been doing it for years and take turns at different houses.

On another note, your thread has had me thinking. I love my sports and get as involved as time allows. I too hate being too busy with "stuff". My childhood was packed with "stuff" everyday and it's hard to manage daily normal life. Now I love a balance of staying home, cooking a meal that isn't just thrown together but getting out of the house at least once a day with activities a few times a week.

When I was pregnant, I felt lost. I couldn't play softball, snowboard and even jogging got tossed out the window. My H could do it all but I couldn't. I realized the true value of my hobbies and wanted them back so bad. Obviously it was just a temporary sacrifice but it goes to show that activities a few times a week can really bring a lot of happiness.

I hope you find a few hobbies that give you a happy escape for a few hours a week. So far, there is nothing better a hug from my baby after a fun night away. Love being a mom but I feel how important it is to get a break too.

Everyone was kind of asking each other what they did. I was content to just sit back and listen to y'all. gahurts ruined that for me and rattled my cage. Thanks man

Ummm...OOPS...Sorry

I didn't remember that - I remember an earlier faux pas question I asked that kinda shocked you. I felt like crawling in my hole and not coming out. I was afraid I ruined the weekend for everyone by accident but instead it was the best ever.

Don't worry about it man. I can laugh about it now. Just watch yo mouth at the upcoming G2G!

KIDDING!