I guess I just need to vent. I triggered really badly yesterday - so much so I feel residual effects today. I barely wanted to get out of bed and off to work.
Anyway, my H, who is normally supportive, says he is "sick of it" and why can't I just "get over it" because he has apologized profusely. ummm...excuse me? I said to him "YOU did this, you can't fix it with an apology"
I spent so much of my time thinking about him and OW...I was doing so well until yesterday, IDK, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Bring on the tears and the yelling, all the stuff I thought I was done with. Guess not.
And then H has the audacity to say I was using this as an excuse to leave. WHAT THE FUCK?????? I'm an emotional mess and he says, I'm using this as an excuse to leave??????? So what? Is he blameshifting? He said, "My dad had a LTA and my mom forgave him" yeah. his mom did a lot of rug sweeping and crying over her husbands bullshit. So, I decided to 180 him. I am so angry and hurt and depressed. The day after dday I literally wanted to die and I never want to feel like that again.
Sorry if this is long or incoherent. I just needed to get my thoughts down, because, right now I've decided to do the 180 and it's killing me.