FFWD - he has never turned in accurate financials, because he cheats in taxes and business, has several "side" businesses that he doesn't claim, and won't ever admit to his full income. In addition, to pay ANY medical for the Bunt since his diagnosis in 2008, he required detailed invoices of everything - even though I had full documentation of all expenses through online records and statements.
My attny never billed me a final bill - I know I got out of thousands upon thousands of dollars - but he also has all my medical records for 2008-2012.
The medical FT would owe for that 5 years would be around $5k. Not enough for me to pay the attorney for and fight with getting financials on FT - would cost me much more than that, which is FT's angle - has gotten him out of paying anything at all.
This year - I saved everything - every single receipt, invoice, etc... including invoices for extracurricular activities. My medical is now maxed out, so I sent an email (we communicate only through documented sources) saying I had everything, and that I am willing to split both 50/50 between us, without lawyers, and how did he want to handle it.
Crickets. It's been over two weeks, and I've gotten no response.
Meanwhile, they want me to switch days with them in November. I didn't respond to the email right away, and I just got another one asking that I please be considerate and let them know ASAP.
I guess he is thinking that if he ignores it, it will go away. We are talking around $1000 as his half of out of pocket expense for the year. Not a ton of money - but should be shared between us, and not all on me to be responsible for.
Grrrrrr - wondering how long to wait, and what to do if I get no response. It isn't worth involving a lawyer...
Just file a req for CS myself through the courts? My attny is still listed as my representation though - and our case is still listed as "active".
[This message edited by movingforward13 at 2:27 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]
"They cling to their bad choices out of shame, because it is far easier to continue to destroy yourself than to do the heavy work required to fix yourself." - a wiser SIer
I'd maybe copy whatever you sent him regarding splitting the out of pocket medical and copy his request 'that you be considerate and respond asap.'
Actually, not responding to him at all is best. I think that makes them more crazy than anything.
I haven't responded at all about their request to switch days. Not planning to at this time. It isn't until November, so if I can wait - they can wait.
So do you have any sort of custody agreement in place? What does it say about medical? Would your child qualify for state medical insurance, medicaid or disability? What about reaching out to a CF-focused non-profit for temporary help?
I agree with the others. You need to take this to court. You need to have CS and the other expenses go through child support enforcement and it needs to happen now. You can do this without an attorney.
This is not a standard case where you can just sit by and wait. Your child has a serious chronic condition that could require MAJOR medical interventions down the road that could even take you to the lifetime cap. What will you do then?
Remember, these services aren't in place to screw over the negligent party or make them look bad (those are just the fun side effects), they're in place to protect the children. You do not need to protect your X. You need to hold him accountable.
And fuck the noise about visitation.
Confirmed EA/PA afair - 5 months with college student.
EA/PA #2 DD 4/30/12
Others- Likely but unknown at this time
I have a very detailed agreement in place - I have sole legal custody and we share physical custody. The money issue was never addressed because he never provided accurate info. If my attorney had pulled him in to court back when he was just past the 90 days, we probably would have gotten the same judge. BUT - he played games and got a new attorney, and asked for tons of new stuff from me - all of which was already filed in court... and it all ended up never getting resolved.
My max out of pocket expenses right now - this year and the past several - are only $2,000. Next year it will be $3,000. Most of that is spent on the Bunt, but no matter the amount, I think FT should be responsible for half. 50/50 - cut and dry. Easy enough to settle on outside court, get it documented legally, then each year I provide him with receipts, and he reimburses me for half. Should be easy - but the NPD FT refuses to give me money - that's the game - he has tried to "take turns" paying the medical bills, but I have a deductible and a whole flex spending thing with three accounts set up - and then we'd be trading receipts, and it would get too complicated - so I said NO - I will pay all, then provide you with everything for reimbursement.
I get no response. Yet, they will bug me to give them an answer about switching days in November.