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Newest Member: Marqui (45328)

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User Topic: Affair proof your marriage....yeah, right?!?
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never read the 5 love languages, I know a little but truthfully it's not important for me to read now. I'm more focused on improving myself.

I do agree that we can only affair proof ourselves and put our own boundaries in place. I firmly believe I have stayed true to my own boundaries so reading about new love and ego boosts and passion just infuriates me. It's been a long time since I have had that (WS obviously) and just knowing he had no boundaries and fell for all that pisses me off. Maybe with time I will get over that.

In any case, I believe the closest we can come to "affair proofing" the marriage is though open and honest communication. If both people commit to that there will be no secrets and nothing to hide and therefore much less chance of an A occurring.

Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".

Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It's like saying you can rape proof yourself. You can't be responsible for your spouse's actions. Period.

I'm of the belief that the only reason a person allows themselves to cheat, is because they wanted to and their character was of such to do so.

We've all had past issues, dramas, heartache, family problems, and crap that wasn't perfect in our childhood. As adults, we know right from wrong. I don't want to know WHY they did it. I already know. And it wasn't because we didn't affair proof "us". It's because they allowed themselves to.

Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.

Posts: 455 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO there is nothing a person can do that will keep their person from cheating. Thats an internal decision they make for their own reasons.

Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
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