Our last one was almost 2 weeks ago and as I've turned it over in my head 100+ times, I've finally realized that he still has a cheater's mentality and not a commitment mentality. Barring some major change, I think it's time for me to start pursuing either a legal S or a D.
Was wondering if someone here wouldn't mind giving me the "Cliff Notes" version of the options.
I know D can be very expensive and we have a DD leaving for college next fall. It sickens me that we could deplete our savings in a D and have nothing left for her. He has continued to pay all the bills even since he moved out 8 months ago. He has always indicated that he will take care of us financially, but certainly I know that these promises can change. (Kinda like those M promises, right?)
I haven't lurked here at all (pretty much avoided this forum, hoping to R), so I'm sorry if this has been covered already... Or perhaps you can steer me to an older thread?
Thanks, in advance, for your help!
I should clarify that I don't believe he is still cheating currently, but I discovered through his words that he still has a "cheater's mentality". Basically, if I don't get X, I am afraid I might stray again. A "commitment mentality" would be to turn to your spouse to communicate and resolve issues, not find any excuse to cheat again. If after 8 months of hard work, he still doesn't see that... I don't know if he ever will. He always said he didn't blame me.... until he tries to find his "why's" and ends up blaming me!!!!
You are currently S, but not legally S. Legal S is really almost the same thing as D, and not all states even recognize legal S. And some states require that you are legally S for a time period before the D will be granted. The difference between plain ol' S and legal S is that you have a court document to protect you.
Aside from talking to a L, I advise that you research the D laws in your state. Just google "Divorce Law" with your state name and you will find a ton of information.