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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A Season..
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has me in a funk. My head is swirling in memories. No anger or anxiety just deep deep sadness. I'm having a hard time staying in the present( which is really fu*king good)

We are taking back a few major triggers over the next few weeks. Starting to wonder if we are biting off more than I can chew.

We are still 7 weeks til 2nd antiversary. I hope this doesn't last that long.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Aug 2012
Landoes
♂ Member
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with you feeling your pain. The A season for me is Sept through Feb
All the good holidays and my bday. It's hard to even think what was going on a year ago.
Staying busy is all we can do.

[This message edited by Landoes at 2:13 PM, October 4th (Friday)]


Posts: 70 | Registered: Aug 2013
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In a funk here too.

A season started Aug. 23rd continues through Dec. 18.

First antiversaries for me. Still working through on my own.

I hope it gets easier for you. I think maybe if you have support, real, honest, compassionate support, you will get through.

I hope you have that and can feel it when you need to.

(((Chicho)))


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divor


Posts: 1418 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Chicho)))

A season is tough. Take it one day at a time. I know you and Broevil will lean on each other through the rough times.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37987 | Registered: Sep 2007
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, A season. My first is coming up (for the PA, if I was talking EA I would already be in it!) so I have no words of advice just wanted to say I feel your pain.

I've been a f*cking mess the past few days. I can't shake it and it seems to be getting worse. I was going to post but really, I have no idea what to say other than I feel broken right now.

I truly hope you're able to get through this one with the least amount if pain possible.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if it's my introspective personality or what, but staying in the present is not my strong suit!

Reclaiming triggers would definitely be a challenging time to stay in the moment. Could you come up with something easy and positive to look forward to?


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Chicho)))


Posts: 35812 | Registered: Mar 2011
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last year we did a lot of new and fun thing to build new memories. We threw all traditions out the window. It went great. I highly recommend it. Some have become new traditions.

This year we are trying to take back a couple old traditions. These hold memories both good and bad. I don't want to completely abandon them because they have meaning. We want to over write the bad while retaining the good. It seems a little trickier.

ETA: yes AN we are doing it together. And that is what counts.

[This message edited by Chicho at 10:24 PM, October 4th (Friday)]


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Aug 2012
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Chicho))

I hear you, man. "A Season" is a little bit different for me. Considering my wife had a 15 year affair, I guess every season is A season. I do have a particular season that gets to me, though, and that was the time of discovery and the six months following, in which I tied dates, events, holidays, etc., into things that my wife and OM were doing while I was trying my best to build a solid relationship and a solid family.

I'm almost three years out, and I've taken a lot of things back and reclaimed them. Yet there's still a couple of things that are simply too much, and I'm not ready to take them back. I'm talking "stupid" things... like two particular restaurants, one of them that I used to go to anyway. One day I will, perhaps. Or perhaps one day I'll just say f*ck 'em, and decide that it's not worth it.

I guess my long winded point is that I can relate, and also, if something is simply too much for you, that is perfectly okay. I think reclaiming things is great, but putting too much pressure on yourself to do so can be counteractive sometimes.

Hang in there, friend. Take care.


Posts: 7485 | Registered: Dec 2010
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is starting soon.. November Then I have to go through all the holidays big triggers.
Our daughters birthday I suspected something was wrong with him. He didn't make her a birthday card. He always does.. Then our wedding anniversary.. He would always make me a beautiful card.. Zilch ...I thought he was having a midlife thing... I guess l was stupid.. He was in the A ...fucking bastard... It was the worst anniversary ever..


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is starting soon.. November Then I have to go through all the holidays big triggers.
Our daughters birthday I suspected something was wrong with him. He didn't make her a birthday card. He always does.. Then our wedding anniversary.. He would always make me a beautiful card.. Zilch ...I thought he was having a midlife thing... I guess l was stupid.. He was in the A ...fucking bastard... It was the worst anniversary ever..


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Marathonwaseasy
♀ Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EA lasted nearly 2 years. Slut came to a party in my home at Christmas in 2011. PA from January this year until September. Everything from the past 2 years is sullied.
Not looking forward to Christmas and then January


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Red  Posted: 5:15 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Marathonwaseasy,

Please review the guidelines and description of the Reconciliation forum. No venting or namecalling is allowed.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37370 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So the first take back of the season was today. It was our DS3 and my birthday party and pumpkin picking. Our birthdays are 3 days apart and have had dual party(mostly his) since he was born, with pumpkin picking in the morning before the party.

Two of my birthdays have been ruined by 2 different A's. Last year we went to Sesame Place for DS bday and wanted my birthday not even recognised. It was great.

Today we tried taking back the pumpkin picking and party at the house. It was OK. No triggering. But it just wasn't fun like it used to be. Maybe writing it off for good. We'll see. By next year he will probably want Chuckie Cheese party or something like that anyway.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 14

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