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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: just found underground phone. What do I do?
duststorm
♀ New Member
Member # 40500
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just found my WH's second phone. It's an iPhone. He left it under the couch plugged in. I can't get into it. What should I do?

Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
1devastedmom
♀ Member
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take it and see if someone here can help you unlock it. Don't say anything to him and watch him squirm. I guarantee he won't say anything to you about it and if he does tell him you don't know what he's talking about.


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 140 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
calgon54
♀ Member
Member # 21529
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wpuld take it and put it somewhere where he will never find it. When he is looking for it - let him explain that!
So sorry this is happening to you!


BS-57-me
WS-50
DD 18
DDay Marchish 2006
Let it go........

Posts: 215 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: land of oz
duststorm
♀ New Member
Member # 40500
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm taking it to one of my girlfriend's house. Now I know why he's been on edge all day. I just called him and asked him when he was coming home and he was already edgy. So I just be calm and nice?
Please, if someone can tell me how to get in to, let me know. It's a code. It doesn't have his normal code on it. He had it charging and hidden under the couch.

Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You act cool calm and collected. You take the phone and the charger away...far away.

Sent you a PM


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1547 | Registered: Jun 2012
duststorm
♀ New Member
Member # 40500
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did I over react by taking it? Now I'm second guessing myself. I had a feeling he had another phone but he kept denying it. He stays upstairs all night and when I come upstairs he gets mad. Hes also had crazy mood swings out of no where. The ow is moving soon so I hoped I would get my husband back w her out of the picture. I took it because if I didn't, I may never get a chance to see it again. I'm worried about how he will react. He probably will get so mad he will leave and I have 2 small children (one less than a month old).

Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
pewpewpew
♀ Member
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You keep that phone.
If he asks, you have NO idea what he's talking about.

Keep trying to unlock it.
Use simple codes y


ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.


Posts: 310 | Registered: Jan 2013
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I doubt he will ask where the phone is. If he does, you ask him, what phone? You told me you had only one phone. What phone could you be looking for?

He'll get mad? Fuck him, you need to be mad. If he leaves, fuck him. He was going to leave for any little reason you gave him if you messed with his little fantasy.

Stay strong. (((duststorm)))



BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you looked at your Private Messages duststorm?

You didn't overreact. You did the right thing.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You were in the right. He is in the wrong. IF you are afraid he will harm you please seek shelter with family, but you need to hold on to that phone. I once read that men will usually use a birthday, a graduation year, a wedding anniversary or a family member's birthday or anniversary as their code.

Please keep us updated!

Keep the contents of that phone when you go to the attorney because there is NO way he should still be talking to her!

Did I over react by taking it? Now I'm second guessing myself. I had a feeling he had another phone but he kept denying it. He stays upstairs all night and when I come upstairs he gets mad. Hes also had crazy mood swings out of no where. The ow is moving soon so I hoped I would get my husband back w her out of the picture. I took it because if I didn't, I may never get a chance to see it again. I'm worried about how he will react. He probably will get so mad he will leave and I have 2 small children (one less than a month old).


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you have anyone with you when he gets home?

You did the right thing.

Those things aren't cheap. Where did he get the money for it? What did he use to pay for it? He may have a secret credit card, too.

Sending thoughts of strength to you!!


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3086 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
crestfallen
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi....you did the right thing. You know nothing. Think Sgt. Shultz from Hogans Heros ( if you're old enough.).

Try the OWs birthday or last four digits of her phone number. If you can afford to, use a website to get that information.

Hugs to you and stay strong. You can do this!!!

[This message edited by crestfallen at 5:29 PM, October 4th (Friday)]


BS-me-57
WH-57
Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2010
duststorm
♀ New Member
Member # 40500
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's his old phone that he used before the company gave him his work phone. He used to imessage her on that but I dug through it. Now he leaves that phone down stairs for me to look at at any time. He's home now and I cooked dinner. He hasn't said anything yet and he's been upstairs. No family here, but plenty of friends. Im going to play dumb. I suspected he had another phone.
My blood ran cold when I found it. This is horrible.

Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be strong.


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 387 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes it is horrible. (((Dust storm)))

This means he has been lying all along.


I'm so sorry.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1763 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
doggiemom12
Member
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take it to the genius bar at an Apple store and tell them you forgot the code. They may be able to reset it. If they won't call Geek Squad or someone else and have them get into it for you. It can be done.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You give that phone to a friend and have her take it to Apple and get the code (she can tell them she forgot). This way you can truthfully say "what phone? You have. Phone. It is right there. What phone are o looking for? He won't want to go there. Trust me.

What you find will determine next steps. Stay cool and unruffled and know that your demeanor is driving him batshit. I always found that to be inspirational.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29668 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right to take it. Just gaslight the hell out of him. Pretend you don't know anything. That he must be forgetful or mixing up his lies, confusing his A with his M.

Lean on the people here and get support where you can IRL.

Your WH needs to see you be strong, that you don't need a man child with a GF. You need a real man, who can do right by his wife.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait for somebody to call it. Once you get an incoming call, answer it and then hang up. Voila! The phone is unlocked!

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
neverdidithink
♀ Member
Member # 40568
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The apple store will not reset the password for you, if they agree to touch it without proof of ownership or the associated iTunes password, they will likely wipe it clean for you to re-synch with your iTunes.

]If the phone has the find my phone app on it, he can activate it remotely and see exactly where the phone is. Power that sucker down, pronto. The app can't give its location if it's turned off.

If it's an iphone5 and he downloaded the new ios7 software, the phone may be set to wipe clean after a certain number of failed password attempts so think hard about what likely passwords would be.

You may be able to make him crazy with the missing phone, but you may never get to see what's on it.


Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9


Posts: 338 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 43
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