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User Topic: Rugsweeping
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think all this has made you more sensitive to rugsweeping when it occurs in other people's lives? Do you just want to scream and tell people that ignoring a problem solves nothing? I'm feeling that way right now with my daughter's father and his new wife. And it affects my daughter. Gah!

Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jan 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tend to ignore it, unless it impacts me, or someone that I care about. In this case it is affecting your daughter, so I think your frustration with whatever is being rugswept is 100% valid, IMO.

Posts: 6546 | Registered: Dec 2010
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

not rug sweeping per se for me but lying. I have little to no tolerance for lying in any situation now.

Sorry you and DD are going through this. It is always better to deal than not. Not dealing just puts off facing it until later, which is not helpful or healthy. Sometimes though we need to accept that we cant make people face their own issues, its something they need to come to in their own time. Not sure how old your DD is though (if young then understand why it feels like it is your issue to solve).


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In general I find myself extremely sensitive to stuff that I would have ignored before.

It's amazing the lack of boundries people have!

Or how every show I watch but 19 Kids and Counting has some kind of infidelity in it.

I can't escape.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 360 | Registered: May 2013
Tired05
♀ Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All of the songs on the radio have something about infidelity in them...and it is usually glamorized. Movies that I used to love are now ruined because I now see the cheating that was in the stories.

I get really disgusted because it seems everywhere I look/read/hear people are talking about sex. This is the angry, bitter, BS talking, but these things make humans look like pigs. People going to the edges of the earth just to get laid.

I seem to be better able to tell when someone is lying to me though. But (unless it directly impacts me) I pretend that I believe them by nodding my head.

I also find that people that I used to know that had cheated/was the OP/or helped cover up an A have become much more questionable to me. Before I knew it was wrong, but I thought "Oh, it's in the past, they aren't going to do it to me or again...why worry or think less of them. It's a mistake." I gave these people too much credit.


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurtsbut, my daughter is 5. I wrote about the specific situation in off topic yesterday. They just want to hide what happened from the other kids and go on like life is ok. So many deep issues that could be at play here and they think if they don't mention it in front if her she'll never know anything is wrong.

Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jan 2013
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah like someone said I can't tolerate any lie. i go balistic on lies.

and also, one family member I know also that is the cheater--I can't get past that now.


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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