Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: LionessRoar (44598)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: why if i'm no longer enough for him?
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was my husband's only until he had his affair. I was his first kiss, first girlfriend, first everything. (I had dated before him.)

We were 19 when we started dating and then got married at 21. We are now 33.

Part of the reason that he gave for his A was that he had only been with me and wanted to know what it was like to get with someone else.

What if I'm not enough for him anymore? What if he wants to explore more and do different things?
What if I'm not what he wants anymore?

He assures me that he loves me more now than he ever did. But we haven't had sex in two weeks. He blames it on his meds and being 'older' but last year he was able to have sex with some skank from work 3 times. He said it was just quick nothing special sex at work. We used to have sex 3-4 nights a week. Now it's nothing.

Maybe it's me he doesn't want any more.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 360 | Registered: May 2013
SoOver96
♀ Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel ya have you told him all this is he one to blow up? If,so wait till he's in a good mood

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in a very similar situation. We dated through high school and married at 21. And after his serial cheating I'm not sure how I can be enough or how we can make this work sometimes.


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He blames it on his meds and being 'older'

Meds maybe but getting older? He's 33!

My WH 60! that's getting older but early 30's?

I don't know your story but are you certain the A is over?


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
swruger
♂ New Member
Member # 40862
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

Part of the reason that he gave for his A was that he had only been with me and wanted to know what it was like to get with someone else.

Just my opinion, but the above just doesn't fly for me. It was not an honest answer, just an excuse, just a cover up.

What if I'm not enough for him anymore? What if he wants to explore more and do different things?
What if I'm not what he wants anymore?

He should be at your feet, begging your mercy and forgiveness; doing anything and everything to make you happy and to believe in him.

From the little I know, it all has to do with him, not you. Just an opinion.

Age 33 affecting sex life, I don't think so. Meds maybe, but not 33 years old.


Posts: 11 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern California
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The logical part of me says no the a is over. He was unemployed for 6 weeks and never left my sight. I check his phone all of the time.
In the past meds did affect his preformance and frequency. When he first went on meds predday it was almost three weeks between sex.


Of course I freak out like its because of the skank.
He keeps on promising sex but it hasn't happened yet.

I just feel like the a opened up Pandora's box. I will always be compared to skankface and if he ever gets with anyone else that I would then be compared to then we are back to an a.

I doubt this skank was magical unicorn sex. They did it at work on the dirty floor and well I know how to get him going. She didn't but she was a newer non birth giving woman. I'm all used and stuff.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 360 | Registered: May 2013
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He did say "forsaking all others" in his vows, right. He didn't say, "forsaking all others until I see something else I might like, also."

His cheating has nothing to do with you and what you might have or lack in the sex department. If he wants to explore more??.? Uhhhhhh, that's not acceptable in a marriage. Let him know that, point blank. If that's what he needs, he can do it, but he can't be married to you and do it.

Don't make this a problem about you. It's not. He has created a huge problem by doing what he did, and it's not your fault or because of you in any way.

Good luck.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.