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User Topic: Time of day
jimbo25319
♂ Member
Member # 31891
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was "attached", I had to beat women off with a stick. "I'm sorry but I'm married" was a weekly part of my vocabulary.

Now that I'm "unattached", it's like I'm a leper. I can't get the time of day from women.

I don't get it. I'm in the best shape of my life, and a good catch.

Anyone else experience this.


Posts: 480 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Maryland
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If only neediness and desperation were attractive qualities.

Posts: 184 | Registered: Sep 2013
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uh. You're still married. Sending off the divorce papers to the attorney doesn't made you "not married".

What's the rush?


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
jstbreathe
♀ Member
Member # 40829
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Married men are a challenge for many woman. A chance to prove they are pretty enough, sexy enough, desirable enough to make you compromise your marriage vows. To them it's a game, and they are in it to WIN! If you are no longer married you are no longer a challenge. Plain and simple.


The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 18 years
2 sons, 11&15
Trying to R

Posts: 149 | Registered: Sep 2013
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((jimbo))

You have a lot going on right now between starting the D process and the emotional rollercoaster you've been on the past 2yrs. I'm sure when the time is right, you will find someone wonderful and trustworthy. You deserve happiness. I believe it's out there for you.


Posts: 33965 | Registered: Mar 2011
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My experience has been, that when you aren't looking for a romantic partner.. like when you are already in a relationship, you are generally comfortable around women. In all forms of communication. Verbal and non-verbal. However, when you are looking .. even if its just peripherally.. some of us may place this additional pressure upon our selves. We're out of our comfort zone. That will be noticeable in speaking, but will be far more noticeable in body language.

The person you are speaking to will notice.. generally subconsciously, but they will notice.

Have you ever been in a room with someone clearly nervous? I don't know about you but it drives me crazy. I can't get comfortable.

Its kind of the same thing, just at a more subtle level. If a women detects apprehension.. they will be apprehensive.

Confidence is quite attractive, but you don;t have to exude it.. you simply have to be comfortable in your own skin.

Now if the divorce is very new.. or you aren't finished with it yet.. you may be giving off the "warning.. extreme baggage alert" sign.. which comes in the form of completely undermining your confidence and your level of comfort. Which in turn is not terribly attractive.

Edit; I didn't see your other post. I'm now going with my last point. You may not feel like a hot mess.. but you are. The only thing you are going to attract right now is terribly broken.

Personally.. I'm not going for even 6 months on the bus, so I totally get it but just give yourself some time.

[This message edited by Maxiom at 8:50 PM, October 5th (Saturday)]


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 454 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you really want a new relationship or is just the ego boost of being noticed that you're after?


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24361 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 7

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