I can't begin to imagine how hurt and betrayed you must feel.
As with many of us who have had our histories "rewritten" by someone who lied to our faces, it takes a while to get to a place of acceptance. You get to feel what you need to feel and say what you need to say right now. You have every right.
As someone who has the gift of objectivity to your situation, I'm just so proud of your dad, and I count you lucky to have someone like him in your life. We don't usually get to pick our family, we are just kindof stuck with them for better or worse sometimes.
Your dad sounds like an incredible human being. Life gets tangled and messed up sometimes, but having good hearted people who care about you around makes things a lot more bearable.
I'm so very sorry that you were denied a childhood free from pain and stress, but I'm so grateful that this man has been a rock for you the whole time. You have tomorrow and the rest of your life to share with him, and you know that he loves you unconditionally. We can't ever ask for more from the people in our lives.
Sending hugs and strength to you.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
hearing you and understanding what finding out about a lifetime of lies is like.. I hate it too!
I know that the anger you are feeling hurts to the core and that you have so many questions that may never be answered. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that even though he is not your biological father he is more of a Dad to you then a lot of fathers are to their own biological kids.
Im so sorry you had to find this out
D-Day, June 10, 2012
My own marriage to his father was also tainted by infidelity, with his father cheating on me just 3 weeks after our son was born, and he continued to fool around and hide/destroy credit card bills and such to keep me from suspecting. For 8 years I kept hoping he'd change, that he'd come home after work like he said he would, or be home from a "couple drinks with the guys" in time for dinner like he promised. Or that I wouldn't find the credit card bill this month shredding in the waste bin. But I always did. I finally walked away in 2008. Best decision I ever made. My son to this day thinks I left his father "for no reason" because I wouldn't tell him why. And he holds a bit of a grudge sometimes when he wishes we were still together. But if that's the worst I have to deal with to keep from repeating my mother's mistake of bad-mouthing my dad, so be it. CHEATING SUCKS. God, it destroys so much. It took me 5 years to really recover from the emotional and self-esteem damage my ex-husband caused with cheating, and to really trust someone again. I can only imagine how hard it was for my dad to go through the same thing, and to see me, a constant reminder of my mom's betrayal.