among the many different books I read after D-day, Relationship Rescue was one of them.
I liked it; provided down to earth advice and information. It is not about healing from infidelity but rather, as the name implies, how to improve the relationship between spouse or GF/BF. It gave me ideas on how to better effectively communicate.
Ideally it would be both parties involved in reading/doing the exercises Dr Phil outlines, but even if that is not the case, it helps to improve yourself. If you are not into self-improvement, don't choose this book.
Post D-day I began working on myself to improve my confidence, self-esteem, etc. the issues with WS became secondary but still needed addressed.
The book taught me better strategy for effective communication. Rather than yelling or arguing with WS, I approached it differently using Dr Phil strategy...almost as if less-was-more when talking with WS. there were times when I had to type it and then read it to WS to make sure all my points were covered. He began listening rather than just hearing blah-blah-blah coming from me. Since then WS has begun to see the light and though we have long way to go, taking steps in right direction.
If you've watched Dr Phil then you know his style; the book is written just like he talks, down-to-earth.
I read the copy from local library but wish I had purchased it so I could highlight/bookmark certain sections.
ETA: don't get me wrong, I wanted to yell and scream at WS after D-Day...but after reading the book and my other therapy I realized it would be a wasted effort, he would have simply tuned me out and given him "justification" for his actions and poor judgement.
Instead, since the beginning of this entire disaster I've conducted myself with a great deal of restraint and patience to the best of my ability. This was not an effort to show him how I've changed, but rather for myself, to know I conducted my own actions with honesty and integrity and did the best I could....regardless of the outcome.
My way won't work for others, just as other's wouldn't have worked for my situation. As they say you must take what works and leave the rest as each situation, though similar is not quite the same.
together 18 years
DDay 1 March 2013
Dday 2 April 27, 2013
Dday 3 June 1, 2013
He broke us both; I've begun rebuilding ME. He is still broken.
Someone who genuinely loves you does not deliberately hurt you.