I figured soup to nuts with having to buy a place, additional furniture, paying my share of lawyer fees, paying IRA withdrawals taxes and penalties this divorce cost me $200K towards my retirement. And I didn't even want it, she filed. In fact I just had to write a check this week to the IRS for $35K to cover the withdrawals I took to buy my place...ouch. But it's better than going to jail huh? You're just going to have to keep your bitch boots on and fight for was is rightfully yours.
Oh my I can't even imagine spending that kind of money. I'm getting close to 10K which is very distressing for me. That's about 1/2 of what I make at my FT job. And there are still more cost's piling up!
When I was looking over his budget for a month he had $915 allocated for food and other household items, meals eaten out, recreation, entertainment, personal allowances, incidentals and for social obligations (bday, Christmas gifts, etc).
And he has 355 per month for gas when he drives a motorcycle for about 4 to 5 months of the years. I'm trying to decide if I'm being petty about those things I suppose gas is very subjective however the other seems excessive.
Right now I'm living with a wonderful friend who is very supportive and isn't asking for rent. Which helps for paying my L fees. I can't keep living like this forever. I don't have any of my things to use. He, in fact, has full use of the house and all of our "things". I've been afraid to remove things for fear of "poking the beast".
What's your alternative? To accept an unfair offer? Talk these issues out with your L. If your L is familiar with the court system in your area, he will be able to give you a *best guess* on how a judge would view your case. I would think that *no documentation* about that money from his dad means that money is marital property. Don't know how much is there, but doesn't finding out about it make you a bit nervous and wonder whether he's hiding anything else?
Good point, thanks! I think I just needed to see that written out. One thing that I have is pictures from his check register for checks he wrote to himself last year for over $3,000. It doesn't seem to matter or that he sold several big ticket items for another 1,800. I've wondered what else he did that I didn't know about. The above happened just prior to dday.
I'm also at the stage you are right now. If I don't get an offer that's reasonable and close to what I want, then I'm going to let the judge decide. If I'm gonna get fucked over, I'd rather let the judge do it than allow the guy I'm divorcing (who *promised* that he'd always take care of me but now thinks that I should live on rice and mac&cheese and ramen noodles) do it yet again.....
Just trying to weigh my options to see if what I come out with is worth the $$ I'll spend. And maybe just holding their feet to the fire is what I need to do. Especially since I just got my bill for last month and this next bill will be even more! After I pay those I'll be out of what I've managed to save for those expenses.