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Newest Member: KAG1340 (44950)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: You know you are happy to be single when:
stungbytravel
♀ Member
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My x used to give me grief for Buying The Wrong Cheese. He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

This made me laugh. Mine told me I needed to go to cheese school because I bought a new cheese he didn't like. Really? It's just cheese. Cheese school?


Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2012
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I make a budget I don't have to keep a large chunk free to help cover what another person will mindlessly blow.

House, I can relate to every item on your list but this one really stood out. It is the one that I have had so much shame around. Only this week did I finally tell someone about the $ issues. I have spent the whole marriage bailing WH out. So when two weeks ago I found out that he had given money to OW3 it was the final straw.

I thought I was the only person in the world who made a budget with an allowance for WH's cash emergencies.

Our house is falling apart because I have not been able to afford to maintain it. Everything he does in the house is half-finished. I have calculated that it will take me 10 years to catch up on the maintenance.

I'm keeping the house btw because his equity is less than the money I have lent him....


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On my days off I don't have to cook breakfast for him.
I used to hate that when he got hungry he would take care of himself and not cook for all of us or the time he actually cooked he would leave a huge mess.

Many more reasons, but the stress of his pity parties and his get rich quick schemes, or constantly not being happy about anything. He was never content, not with his job, his life, where we lived, our family, people he knew, nothing. I am very content in any situation and am thankful most times. To live with him was exhausting. After all was said and done, I felt like he sucked my soul dry. Life with an NPD makes single life easy.


Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apparently, I'm happy to be single. This long distance marriage thing is kind nice. I can totally relate to a huge portion of these posts.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weatherly - you have the best of both worlds!

I'm so happy to be in control of my own destiny in so many ways, but the best is....

LESS LAUNDRY!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7650 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread is so funny because I actually wrote out a list of why I am happy to be single and put it on the fridge.

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

I no longer walk on egg shells worried I will say the wrong this or my tone will be "off".

I can wear my pj's all day if I want.

I don't have to hear the TV on all day even though he left the house. Don't u know he needs it on in case he comes back!

I don't have to have all the neighbors on my house for breakfast (that I don't eat) on Christmas and New Years mornings.

I don't have to watch stupid shows that I hate.

I don't have to lie to my grand baby about why GPA is passed out on the sofa....again.

I do not have to spend my birthday out with the neighbors!

I can have a dog, have short hair, go to bed when I want, and be a vegetarian.

I can live in PEACE!!


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1207 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

I can wear my pj's all day if I want.

I can have a dog, have short hair, go to bed when I want, and be a vegetarian.

I can live in PEACE!!

^^^ These, plus

I get to watch TV shows I want to watch without having to suffer through all asshat's nasty sniping comments about them.

I get to put the furniture where I think it goes.

I have the whole bed to myself at night.

Going to bed "early" (as in when I want to vs when he thinks it's time) is not a sin.

and many others that make it a very nice life most of the time.

Occasionally I miss having someone to just talk to, but there were simply too many unpleasant strings attached.


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1843 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you are excited about vegging on a Friday night at home with your daughter and not having to entertain another person!!! I can't wait to get off work so I can go home, throw my PJs on, eat some leftovers with my child and watch mindless dvr'd TV!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not single yet. Fuckwit saw a lawyer today and so I will be signing an even bigger check to reward him for his infidelity.

So, this is what my future holds...

1. Never making cabbage rolls again
2. Not combing headlice out of his grandchildren's hair because his daughter can't be bothered to look after them properly
3. Tending my vegetable patch instead of his ego
4. Telling the truth about my life to my family instead of living a lie
5. Not having the television blaring out because he can't hear
6. Not reading labels for him because he can't find his glasses
7. Not listening to his political opinions or any of his opinions
8. Not having to go for STD testing
9. Not having my money go to his women
10. Having savings that aren't continually needed to bail him out
11. Not dealing with his collection calls
12. Living with peace of mind instead of a lying, dishonorable, bald cheat - priceless


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
WhenWillItEnd
♂ Member
Member # 12439
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Life is good:
I can wake up on a Saturday morning that consist of me, me and more me. Going to take lab down to the park for her playtime, then a long run to prep for race, rejuve the body with a big breakfast and then naptime. Then football, bbq and beer, SEC baby!!! Gig' Em.

I think this is heaven.


Posts: 65 | Registered: Oct 2006
blue8888
♀ New Member
Member # 40896
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not officially single yet (WH doesn't want to R & doesn't "love" me anymore) so I hope it's ok to post as I think it will be healing to remember what I have to look forward to.

-Won't have to listen to endless complaining about everything
-Won't have to listen to him moan about not having enough money to buy whatever new extremely expensive new toy he just has to have right that minute
-No more walking on eggshells
-Won't have to watch him spend/drink those $5 can energy drinks
-Won't have to pick his dirty socks off of my living room floor
-can celebrate Christmas Day when the boys first wake up and not have to wait until 12 or later when he is ready to get up


Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is it about weirdos and cheese??

Cheese School

Cheesy Nut Man

returning to the store with the wrong cheese

Is there some sort of diagnostic test for cheese dysfunction?

sheesh. Cheese.

I wonder if they can even visit Wisconsin or if their heads would explode?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5822 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

Not listening to his political opinions or any of his opinions

Won't have to listen to endless complaining about everything

Yep. Wow, we sure married some fucking winners. Bleh!



"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature Girl, I feel *exactly* the same way about negotiating. No more for me thanks very much!

SBB: Love the tickle chase, that made me giggle.

I'm sure that's what Buddha was banging on about when he talked of Nirvana

^^^^tee hee^^^

Msk: You sleep with starfish??

Stungbytravel: Cheese school!!!! *gasp*

She11y: that Friday night PJ thing? One of my personal faves.

WhenWillItEnd:

I think this is heaven.

I believe you are correct (finishing coffee listening to Dave Brubeck in my kimono after a long luxurious soak). Saturdays are the best. Sundays are awesome too...

Caregiver: cheese dysfunction? call Dr Phil! We are onto something!!

You can't make this shit up...



DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17392 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not having to share or compromise.
My own bathroom for the first time ever in my lifetime.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to play again:

- Having replaced all the odd, dark furniture xh would not want to get rid of with light, modern furniture. Seeing xh haul the crappy old furniture off to furnish his rental with OW was just the icing on the cake.

- Allowing myself a cleaning lady every other week because I can.

- PJs all the way, Friday nights, weekends if I want to. Mine are purple with pink dots - they would kill any desire in a guy but they are so wonderfully warm and fuzzy.

- Cooking kale and other 'smelly' veggies all day long.

- Watching chick movies with DDs tonight. Bridget Jones, here we come!

[This message edited by fraeuken at 3:55 PM, October 12th (Saturday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

lol


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love being able to drive without being told which way is the best route. Why am I going that way? Why don't I change lanes there? etc. etc. He used to make me such a wreck when I drove with him.

Being able to watch tv shows that I like, instead of him grabbing the remote and flipping on some stupid sport without asking me.

Not being made to feel like I have to kiss his ass and put him on a pedestal for going to a movie I chose, attending something that interested me, etc.

Going out to dinner and not watching him watch t.v. over my shoulder or play with his iphone, probably texting some whore for all I know.

Not feel uncomfortable when my parents come to visit because he would barely ever speak to them or even stay in the same room as them.

What an asshole. Why did I think any of this was normal?


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have to cook like I'm cooking for a toddler! I don't have to sneak healthy ingredients in so that the man-toddler would try the food first assuming that he doesn't like it. The "man" hates all things nutritious.

This too!! I thought my eh was the only man-child that ate this way. He would eat Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms for Breakfast, and he still does.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Buying cheese on my way home today. What the heck? And then I will do some cleaning, something I could never do right according to XH. Good riddance.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 44
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