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Newest Member: BellaBoo (44915)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: To those of you who are reading but not posting
Whattodo2012
♀ New Member
Member # 37773
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although I have been going through the roller coaster ride that comes with discovering and dealing with an affair for awhile now (just had DD#2), I just made my first post a few days ago. I'm sure like many of you, I only read what other people posted & what others' responses were. I never posted a new topic or replied to anyone. In some ways it was scary for me to put myself out there....if that makes any sense. And probably in some ways I didn't know if I wanted to hear what others had to say. I just wanted to share with you all that of course it's okay to just browse & read the forums. But I will say, it has helped me to post my story/concern/questions, etc. on this supportive site. It has helped me release & stay focused at the same time. I guess all I am trying to say is don't be afraid to write your own post...no matter how rambling/stupid/insignificant, etc. you may think it is. Support like this can't be found elsewhere....not from a great counselor, family, friends....it's just different.

And thank you all who have already shown your support to me by responding to my posts!


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posts: 12 | Registered: Dec 2012
SurelyNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said. I think you have just about said everything that I at one time or other have felt/worried about/questioned and just generally felt.

Good luck on your journey


Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't be afraid to write your own post...no matter how rambling/stupid/insignificant, etc. you may think it is.

I *second* this. Reading and garnering information from what you're reading is helpful....but there really is something different about reading the responses that are directed to you *specifically*.

Don't be afraid. The more, the merrier.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8002 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't be afraid. The more, the merrier.

I'm going to have to disagree with you there! On a site like this, the less, the merrier.

That said, if you are here, I'm sorry you're here but I'm glad you've found us. We know how you feel and we're here to help.


Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
surviving1963
♀ Member
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At the end of every stress filled day I come to SI and read your stories. This is the best place to come to hear what you need to hear to be validated. I appreciate so much all those who work to keep this site running. We are family. I get the courage I need to keep on keepin' on after reading other posts. I am encouraged and inspired by you all


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 118 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, hOpeless.
I'm trying to be all *warm and fuzzy*......and you're being a buzz-kill. So, back at ya!

On a site like this, the less, the merrier

Technically, yes. But wouldn't DS and MH have gotten pretty tired of posting back and forth to each other for the last 10 years if no one else had joined in?

If someone is lurking here, odds are that they've already been betrayed.....SO they may as well jump into the fray. Once the initial pain, shock, and trauma wear off (and trust me, it will).....SI is a really great place to be. I've laughed. I've cried. I've made some very special IRL friendships through this site. There really is NO substitute for being able to talk to people that *get it*. Or that feeling that there are people that *have your back* when no one IRL seems to......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8002 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reading and posting here have kept me sane. I would not be the person I am today without it.


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In some ways it was scary for me to put myself out there....if that makes any sense.

That can be scary on the best of days...even more so when you are down so low you don't know if you'll ever get up again!

What a lovely way to help others feel comfortable to post Whattodo2012!


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So true...great post.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So true - Great Post.

I've said it so many times, I wish I had found this site at the beginning of me finding out. I would of definitely posted a lot - I had tons of conflict within me, with STBXH, with me constantly contacting OW and not getting me anywhere, other than more hurt. With forcing the issue of move out - or leave OW.

But since I only found the site after 1 year of limbo, Pick me, pick me dance, and after I finally insisted on him moving out.

I find that I don't have many things to post about, other than my anguish and my broken heart of being discarded after 22 years of being the Best wife EVER

But I do read a lot, and I have learned invaluable information on how to deal with the separation, from advice given.

I also feel that the IRL people, simply don't get it. They don't say it, but mostly just feel, "get over it already". and until you have been through this. you simply can't understand what it does to your mind.

So thank You!


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 479 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
MJane
♀ Member
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And like someone said in an earlier post even if you have a great close friend in life listening and supporting (and am so lucky to have someone who helped through those sleepless first days and helped me with childcare) I don't want to fill our friendship with just this and certain days the pain s all consuming and I know on SI there are people treading similar paths who, for better or worse, get it and reach out with some kind (or plain laugh out loud funny!)... I am so glad to have the support here and posting really helps

Posts: 251 | Registered: Sep 2013
MJane
♀ Member
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And like someone said in an earlier post even if you have a great close friend in life listening and supporting (and am so lucky to have someone who helped through those sleepless first days and helped me with childcare) I don't want to fill our friendship with just this and certain days the pain s all consuming and I know on SI there are people treading similar paths who, for better or worse, get it and reach out with some kind (or plain laugh out loud funny!)... I am so glad to have the support here and posting really helps

Posts: 251 | Registered: Sep 2013
Whattodo2012
♀ New Member
Member # 37773
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really is so very helpful. I gain strength from all of you and know no matter the "outcome," things will be okay...that all of the shit that we've gone & will go through really will make us stronger individuals. I truly believe that.


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posts: 12 | Registered: Dec 2012
Whattodo2012
♀ New Member
Member # 37773
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also feel that the IRL people, simply don't get it

What does IRL stand for? I didn't see it on the abbreviation list.


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posts: 12 | Registered: Dec 2012
cluless
♀ Member
Member # 40538
Content  Posted: 9:23 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This site has been a lifesaver to me. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have anybody to talk to. My friends want to help, but I don't want their help, does that make sense?

I'm surprised nothing I've said makes any sense. Anyway, by all means post! Nobody is going to judge you and you will get some real insight. I love the healing gardens, what a wonderful site


WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.

Status: In careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels and starti


Posts: 166 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IRL = in real life


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8002 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 16

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