[This message edited by naivewife at 7:51 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
I got that way too after a while, then rared back up again. The more he would talk with me about it though, the less and less I need to talk about it.
Has he been helpful when you do need to talk?
I have felt like you do several times. First, I believe I felt this because it was so tiring...just wore me smooth out.
Second time I felt it I thought my M was over.
Third time I felt it I actually got kind of bored with it.
Fourth time I felt it...which is where I am at now....I ask but it is almost in passing....days go by that I don't ask about the A. What I have started to try to ask and engage about is our M....and my journey back to it and my wifes journey back to it.
You list several items that COULD be a possibility....maybe IC session or two would help out.
I read a ton...that is my vice now. So far each book has helped me through a particular part that I am stuck at. Currently reading Boundaries in a Marriage....started it because I got to thinking I had boundary issues...turns out I do! Yee-haw!
Next on the list is a book on abandonment issues and why I did what I did and why I settled for what I settled for in our pre-A marriage.
Anything in particular you are curious about yourself?
Glad to see you back...might through a nonsense post out if nothing big is happening. I have done that....sometimes it results in nothing, sometimes it kicks me off the gravel bar and I am once again floating down the creek.
God be with you.
I have a passion for change and growth...I sense this in you too. I have gained wisdom and felt support from you too. I was glad to see you post again.
If this wasn't so painful it would be exciting...growth is good. Grow is not always fun but it is always good. Support from people on this site is so valuable.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 6:47 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]
I, too, have done the "all nighter" processing thing....nothing wrong with that. Just don't let the inevitable "crash" rattle you.
I, too, have learned there is value in holding in emotions for a bit. I am not talking about through sweeping or repressing. I am talking about holding it in, leaning into the feeling as long as you can, then hold it a bit more. It helps us grow because sometimes you never have to let it out...you find your way through it all on your own...very empowering! Other times you have to let it out, but I have found what you let out can be very different them what you would have if you immediately expressed yourself. Many times I start out thinking my wife needs to change only to find out the real change necessary is in me!
And sometimes I just explode in area of tears or anger.
It's tough tough stuff. Tonight I grateful for these trials. I see it as an opportunity to mature parts of me that are shockingly immature.
You are learning just like I am, minus all the reading!
"There are 3 types of people in this world, blakesteele. Those who are born smart, those who learn to be smart, and there are those like you...who have to fake it 'till they make it!"--my favorite college professor said to me on graduation day. Follow me at your own peril!!'
Keep the faith.