Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: nadines13 (44587)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Stood Up For Myself
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I managed to stand up for myself with WH today in a calm, and I hope, appropriate manner. Last night he said he wasn't going to be able to take DS#1 to practice tonight. I just sort of nodded and agreed because I thought he was going to be attending calling hours for an employee of his who passed away.

This morning I read in the paper that calling hours were tomorrow morning, not this evening. I was furious!!! What the heck else was more important than this commitment he had to his son?

So I called him this morning after I dropped the kids off. I didn't rant and rave, I didn't yell. I just calmly asked what his plans were for this evening that were keeping him from doing what he was supposed to for his child. He immediately said he had been planning to go out but he would change his plans and do the practice. I told him I thought that was fair, and let it go.

I was pretty proud of myself. I could have let it go and taken DS myself or figured out arrangements for him fuming the entire time because I was so pissed, but it was something that is WH's responsibility, and its not fair to me to have to deal with it. And its not fair to DS.

I am proud that I handled it calmly and rationally. And, I am especially proud that I did NOT apologize. During the conversation I caught myself about to say I was sorry for messing up his plans, how stupid is that? But I didn't.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is great, 20Hopeful16. I was very much like that, too, always being "ok" with my FWH having "plans" and not being able to take care of his obligations to the family.

I am so happy you were able to stand up for yourself and your family in a calm and respectful way, and then the real biggie, not apologizing for it. YAY!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9492 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3186 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.

Oh, he's a self admitted selfish asshole who is currently living with the OW. He's well into mid-life crisis mode.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
Dallas2
♀ Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY

Glad you stood up for yourself and your DS. I would say for what he is doing you are handling it extremely well.

Be proud of yourself!!!


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!!!! I am inspired by strong BS's. You go girl!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 648 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
doubleboggy
♂ Member
Member # 40622
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you stood up for yourself...keep it up!

Excuse me your DDAY is 8/13 this year and he thought it appropriate to schedule an outing to go out for WHAT? i am sorry.

THIS...is the bigger issue.


D Day: 3/31/13

Posts: 100 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.