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User Topic: Three out of 5 of us
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We just went on a cruise and were seated with 4 other couples. Two of the ladies mentioned that their first husband cheated on them and they subsequently divorced.

Much as it was tempting, I didn't point to my FWH and say "guess who else is a member of the cheaters club?"

How pathetic is it that at least 3 of us had this mess in our lives?


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Mar 2012
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AP told H that 60% of men cheat. I'm not sure if that was to make him feel better or to convince him it was okay.

I just hate the shit storm he dumped on me to deal with for the rest of my life.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 670 | Registered: Jun 2012
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly, cheating does seem to be way too common these days.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9716 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The best number I've seen is that something like 27% of men up to the age of 60 admit to cheating in the General Social Science Survey interviews.

I don't think anybody knows how many men would admit to cheating in an anonymous questionnaire, so this 'best' number probably isn't very good.

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:01 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10083 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I come from a family of three brothers. We have all been cheated on by our wives. My other two brothers divorced. It's everywhere.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
yoshi7268
♀ Member
Member # 35519
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 8 brothers and sisters.
All 9 of us have been cheated on.
Some were cheaters.

My father cheated on my mother and though it wasn't proven, my mother cheated on my father.

My step father cheated on my mother.
My Grandmother cheated on my Grandfather.

I have 5 children. Out of the 4 that are now adults, all have been cheated on by their SOs and 1 cheated on his SO.

I know very few people in my life that haven't been directly involved in infidelity from one side or the other.

It all just makes me so sad.


ME-BS-41 WH-45
Married 23 years-together 27
5 beautiful children ages 15-25
Dday1-late June 2011
Dday2-early July 2011
Dday3- early August 2011
Another affair 7 years before.
R going well

Posts: 279 | Registered: May 2012 | From: yoshi7268
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, the numbers are staggering. And those are just the ones that know. I'm such a cynic. I went to a large ladies night out gathering with a friend. While everyone talked about paint colors and designer furniture I was thinking. "who cares, your husband is cheating on you".

ETA I fully realize some of the wives were probably cheaters too

[This message edited by Tripletrouble at 4:17 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
Bikingguy
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yuup really gives a lot of confidence in the human race.

WW spend a week with 5 high school friends, 3 were cheated on and 1 suspects. She did not have the nerve to confuss being from dark side

My co-worker, a recent JFO BS, said are we the ones living in a fantasy life because we just assume people would act better?


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 672 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Bikingguy
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tripletrouble,

Isn't that one of the horrible aspects of this shit sandwich. Never being able to look at another couple and wondering who is cheating?

Will add, Dad cheated on mom, First girl friend cheated on me. My best man at my wedding cheated on his W. Idiot got caught because the neighbor heard his phone calls with OW on her baby monitor and ratted him out - good for her.


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 672 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bikingguy my family is like that too. My dad left my mom for LTA OW. Annndddd....the statistics make me doubt I will ever have a serious relationship again. I want to punch something when people tell me I'll find someone. Why the hell would I want to do that? So I can do this again? No thanks.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea what the marital history is of the other two couples. If they are also part of this crappy club, they did the same as me and kept it quiet.

It did surprise me. We were all random couples seated together.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Mar 2012
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is such an unfortunate statistic, and I really HATE being part of it.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are six of us in my family. Only my brother and I have been cheated on. He D, but I think his M was on life support way before he found out. We're still trying to stick it out.

That's a third of us who were cheated on.

My in laws have been married over 60 years and as far as anyone knows they have been faithful. The other two thirds of my siblings have never been cheated on.

My parents, I don't think so, but the more I'm realizing about my Dad, I wouldn't put it past him. I know he loved my Mom, but I see some very selfish behaviors when I think back on him.

The sad thing is that it is all over, but it doesn't have to happen. People just make poor choices to let it happen.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 670 | Registered: Jun 2012
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Taking all of the cheating into consideration, I still think it makes sense to inform the other betrayed spouse, but realistically (statistically) the OBS was probably cheating too. So people should not get so caught up in all of the tangled knots about whether or not to inform about betrayal. The real question is, will anyone even care?

Posts: 203 | Registered: Sep 2013
RavenWood
♂ Member
Member # 39847
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Dad cheated on my mom. My brother in law cheats on his wife. My best friend cheated on his girlfriend. 3 couples who are friends of my stbxw cheated. And after my Coworkers found out what I was going through, 3 males and 2 female Coworkers admitted to me the had been cheated on, or did the cheating.
Most ended in divorce.
It's a damn epidemic.


BS: Me (30s)
WW: Her (30s)
10 year marriage with 2 small children.
Status: Divorced.
DDay: May 2013

Posts: 54 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: RavenWood
Confused85
♀ New Member
Member # 40813
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm coming from a family with no affair, at least not that I know of.
People cheat and lie because it's easier to get forgiveness then permission


Before you give up, think about why you held on for so long

Posts: 19 | Registered: Sep 2013
ok4now
♀ Member
Member # 35896
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wait folks, if you think the stats are bad now ... Just wait until the facebook, twitter and reality show junkies get to their 30's it will be a real shit storm.

I read an interesting article in regards to the rise in narcassim and entitlement due to twitter, facebook etc I think this next generation are going to blow the old stats out of the water.

Kind of scary

[This message edited by ok4now at 12:47 AM, October 11th (Friday)]


BS - 39 (me)
WS - 33
DD - 6
D Day - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game)
"I'm not going to be the person I am expected to be anymore"
Blue de Chanel Commercial

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Maryland
Topic Posts: 17

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