I know he's her son and blood is thicker than water, but they certainly didn't take ling to accept Hello Kitty into the fold. They are staying at her house and she's cooking for them and kissing their assess like none other. I can't handle it. MIL even made a big deal before they came about getting together with me (just me and them) during the visit, but now they appear to busy with the whore.
I'm more heartbroken than I ever thought I would be. I have very little family left and always liked the feeling that I had his family too. It's not the case anymore and I realize that. I need to distance myself from them for my own well being. It's just too hard trying to have a relationship with them.
To add insult to injury, the Gnat is being a giant ass about a ladder he took from our house. Our divorce decree clearly stated that he was only to take personal items. Well, he took the ladder and all tools and claims they are his personal property.
I need the ladder for some projects around the house this weekend. He is in a rental and doesn't need a ladder. He is refusing to even respond to my texts about it. I seriously hate him.
[This message edited by newlysingle at 1:29 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]
From where I sit, friends end up being like family for me.
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
With current STBX, in-laws to the curb! they were part of the problem
It sucks when the inlaws betray us. I thought my in-laws were on my side because they said they were so sorry for what he did to me. Yet during the temp. Custody hearing my mil under oath said I wasn't a good SAHM because my house was dirty one of the times she came to visit and that I LET wh cook.
It hurt when I realized I couldn't trust them and that it was one more betrayal to add to the increasingly long list of betrayals.
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
When WH told his mom that he wanted to reconcile with me, his wife of 10 years and mother to his children, she said, No, you don't need to be with anyone.
I know its especially sucky when you have kids who the in-laws will see. I *still* have a hard time with my kids hanging with the in laws. I don't want them to get their messed up morals!!!
BTW, unless she got paid, she is not a whore, she is a slut.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
Thanks everyone, it really helps to know I'm not alone. I think it's time I out some distance between myself and them. They'll always be the grandparent's of my children , but they're nothing to me any longer.
I do think she's a whore, because she does get paid. She is currently sitting on her ass while he supports her.
I can't believe Shrek is pregnant. Ugh, I'm so sorry StillLivin! Can't wait to commiserate over sangria on Saturday.
Man, Gottagetthrough, what a blow that they chose OW over you like that. What a bunch of asshats!
The distance has allowed me to see the dysfunction that has ALWAYS been there, and I'm SO glad I have nothing to do with them.
That was hard on me as well because I LOVED XH's family and they loved me...but they can't love him & his wife AND like me too.
When XH left, he had so many days to get his shit out of the house. 3 months later, I'd packed most of it and called him to come get it. He did. He didn't want ask or anything more than what I'd packed (he more or less took what he wanted when he moved out - I pretty much packed 'leftovers'). Fast forward a few months later - OW had bought a house here. All the sudden, apartment dwelling XH wanted some gardening tool 'back'. I wouldn't give it to him; it was petty I guess (As I don't need, want or know how to use it) but I knew he wanted it for HER house. Technically I was right, so I held out. Go buy your own dumb tool!!!!
Some of this I'm dealing with, too. When I have trouble or find out they did something else to me, and distance myself, the ones who still contact me whine and some have told me "I'm hurting the family" by not attending their gatherings.
These are people who talk about having to accept OW and I don't know how people think they can accept an OW and it's the xwife's job to always take the high road? How much strength do they think we have?
I, like you, run out of strength for putting myself aside, if it's ok it sounds like that's kind of what's happening with you. I've also had some snub me, very close ones, and some go right to XPervet with things I may have said.
The best thing sometimes seems to be NC because it's just another place to be hurt that hinders our recovery.
I still gawk at the gall of the OW's.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
So today was Dd's birthday party. MIL called me and said she and FIL wanted to come and needed directions. When they got there they apologized profusely for not spending more time with me. However, they had spent the last few days visiting a distant relative and some old friends of theirs here in town. I had to laugh because I should have known, this is so typical of them! My MIL feels some weird need to visit every person she has ever known that lives in a city she visits. She ends up wasting all of her time doing this and then has no time for the people she intended to visit.
Anyway, so they really spent very little time with the Gnat and Hello Kitty. I'm sure the Gnat was pissed about it. So they came to the party and at the end FIL gave me a big hug and again apologized for not spending more time with me and promised to spend a night at my house the next time they came. He then looked right at me and said "you will always be more important to us than some other people around here. Don't ever forget that". I told him that that meant a lot to me and I really appreciated it.
I know our relationship is never going to be like it was, but it was nice to know they hadn't completely dismissed me and fallen head over heels for Hello Kitty.
[This message edited by newlysingle at 11:25 PM, October 11th (Friday)]
In the midst of all these warm fuzzies though, I'd advise you to proceed with caution. They are, after all, the parents of Gnat, and although they are understandably disgusted and angry with him, their allegiance, when pushed, will likely be with him.
It would be wonderful if you were able to continue having a close relationship with your X-in-laws, but you should understand that it will likely not be the case. Whether you all drift apart now or down the line, the shift will happen eventually, and it's best if you begin preparing for it now.
I don't wish to be a Debbie Downer here, but I don't want to see you hurt even more. Please do what you can to protect yourself.
Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.
You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact
Online definition of whore: "A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain."
In my opinion, that makes her a whore.