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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Shame and Guilt
littledebbie
♀ Member
Member # 35210
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw this today and just felt like I had to share. Brene Brown was on Oprah's Life Class this weekend and I missed the episode but I did find this short video of her talking about shame and guilt. My FWH has really been struggling with this lately, so much so that its starting to affect him in a very negative way. This video made so much sense to me and I hope I can find the whole episode so we can watch it together. He is struggling and I am at a loss as to how to help him. I have a feeling there are a lot of us out here that can relate to this.

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Dr-Brene-Brown-Why-Guilt-Is-Better-Than-Shame-Video


Me-BS 40
Him-WS 40
Married 20 yrs.
Kids-16&13
DDay-Oct.13, 2011
R'ing-Going well

Posts: 56 | Registered: Apr 2012
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brene Brown is intriguing to me as well. I saw a 20 minute clip on TedTV about vulnerability. I have two of her books waiting in the wings...but have to finish Boundaries In Marriage, and 2 books on co-dependency and abandonment.

As a BS I was totally enthralled with the TedTV clip I saw....it highlighted how I was NOT connecting to people in my life...not just not connecting with my wife. I also saw loud and clear how my wife was preventing the same connection from happening in her life and her relationship to me.

dang...so much to learn....how immature I was and am....and I am 42 years old.

God help us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3695 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
littledebbie
♀ Member
Member # 35210
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also saw the TedTV clip and it struck a nerve with me as well. I love her perspective on these topics, especially in the situations that those of us on this site are in.


Me-BS 40
Him-WS 40
Married 20 yrs.
Kids-16&13
DDay-Oct.13, 2011
R'ing-Going well

Posts: 56 | Registered: Apr 2012
Morhurt
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that was a great clip, I'd love to see the rest. And thanks for the heads up on the TedTV, I want to watch that as well. My H's counselor gave him a link to a TedTV episode about vulnerability that we haven't watched yet, I wonder if it's the same one...


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 924 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Finally10
♂ Member
Member # 36900
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dr Brown is one of my favorites.


http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=495572&HL=36900


Posts: 113 | Registered: Sep 2012
Finally10
♂ Member
Member # 36900
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

blakesteele:

Her book "Daring Greatly" is an excellent read, one I found very helpful.


Posts: 113 | Registered: Sep 2012
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! Vulnerability is the episode to watch!!! Damn shame I didn't see this 20 minute clip 20 years ago...it seems so clear to me now. Not how to do it, but what it is and how it's only through being vulnerable that we really connect.

I am excited about this because if I stayed the same I don't think I would have ever deeply connected to a person.

Finally10....we have 2 of her books...daring greatly is one of them.

I gotta stick to my plan but am anxious to read it!!!

[This message edited by blakesteele at 4:45 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3695 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Topic Posts: 7

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