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User Topic: Do any of you think it's appropriate
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't imagine telling her 'no'. It's a special occasion.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20180 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pick your battles when raising kids. It is just shoes. I was and am and both my girls are shoe fanatics. I was wearing major heals by 13, 14 and used to be able to walk better in them than flat shoes. If the dress is age appropriate and she feels capable of wearing them I vote yes.


divorced!

Posts: 2681 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
weeping willow
♀ Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for your votes. So far I have 8 for and 6 against. I'm going to keep counting, and if the for's are still ahead by Saturday morning, she'll get the shoes.

ETA: I had my count wrong.

[This message edited by weeping willow at 9:55 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with sadinaz and gardenparty. (and the others who say it's fine, I'm just too lazy to go back to page one of the thread and name names)

I also think she should bring a pair of cute flats (they sell them in drug stores in a little pouch), just in case she wants to be comfortable as the night goes on.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37620 | Registered: Sep 2007
caregiver9000
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Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I second JRC's thankful to have boys!!

I think that if the dress is age appropriate and length appropriate, the shoes are a good place to let the teen "spread her wings." I am a huge proponent of "choose your battles."

These shoes are not permanent. I am remembering some bright blue turquoise (with glitter!) eyeshadow and some black eyeliner days with super BIG hair... Some lessons you have to learn for yourself.

I do think if you are going to allow the shoes, do it fully with no caveats to undermine the confidence it will take for a young girl to carry that off! And hopefully the shoes are not frightfully expensive...


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
LisaP
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Member # 15088
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD just had her homecoming dance. She is in the 14/15 camp. I can tell you that the girls (2) who wore shoes that high, are still being talked about. It's not because it was inappropriate, it was because they looked ridiculous trying to walk in them and it ruined their whole look.

I suggest maybe buying them and a shorter back-up pair. Let her walk around the house for the week and see if she masters them. Video tape her walking in them and see if she likes the way she looks. Seriously, at 2" heels it took my daughter the entire week to not look like she was walking with bricks on her feet!

If all else fails, buy her some cute, but full coverage panties in case she goes down!


Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown


Posts: 2183 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Oregon
weeping willow
♀ Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If all else fails, buy her some cute, but full coverage panties in case she goes down!

About 6 months ago, she grew into her mom's shoes. They wear the same size. DD has a pair of 5" stilettos, and DGD has been walking around the house in them, every chance she gets. The first few weeks she'd walk in them she was pretty wobbly. Now, 6 months later, she actually walks very gracefully in them. That's why DD even considered (maybe) getting her the 4" to wear to the dance.


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
Dreamboat
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Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD16 just went to homecoming last weekend and she wore 6" stilettos. She ROCKED the look! She walked fine in them and her feet were fine at the end of the night. Just sayin'


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17632 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Lyonesse
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Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, the heels are inappropriate, and yes, you should let her wear them anyway. I remember borrowing my mother's heels to wear to school - I wanted to look like a fashion magazine. Even when some of my friends teased me, I "knew" I looked fabulous and felt so grown-up. It's a special night, you have seen the shoes and don't think they look slutty - my vote is let her wear them. Heck, 4" stilettos aren't really sensible shoes for grown-ups, either, but women still buy them!


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1795 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
wannabenormal
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Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 4:51 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a bit old-fashioned and would not permit the 4" heels.

BUT I tend to agree with others - pick your battles, they're only shoes (chances are she's over them quick after a bit, LOL!) I remember being that age and with this special occasion, let her have a great memory opposed to the blah one where she was forced to wear ballet flats with a fab dress.



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
idiot85
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Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe Dad brains are different because I instantly thought 'NO WAY'.

After reading through- yeah picking battles and at the end of day I suppose they're just shoes...

Can I vote yes but with a grumble and a moan? Maybe a sigh too?


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
tushnurse
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Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a 14 year old, who also likes girly stuff, and can walk in heels like a pro. I got her some 4" heels for her spring formal last year, and spent a few more dollars on them, so that they last, she will be wearing them again on Sat to her first Homecoming dance.

I can tell you all the other girls who she bums with wore very similar shoes. The only who wore flats is 5'11" and she is wearing heels this time around.

I did argue with my kid last spring because the pair she really wanted were about 6" heels, and even though she could walk in them they were trashy looking. The ones I got her are a really quite cute, and not trashy.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8523 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JanaGreen
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Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If she can walk in them and they look appropriate, I guess it's ok. I would rather set my hair on fire than walk around in 4" heels all night, but to each her own.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6740 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Weatherly
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Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say let her wear them, I've been wearing shoes like that since about that age, and I still am 15 years later, just a little less often. If she can walk in them and they look good with the dress, I don't see a problem with it.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4487 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
weeping willow
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Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! I just knew I could count on the SI community for opinions! Thanks for all the votes! The score is now 18 for and 6 against.

I "knew" I looked fabulous and felt so grown-up.

Yes. This is how I want her to feel. She's newly a teenager and thinks she's now a *woman*.

Can I vote yes but with a grumble and a moan? Maybe a sigh too?

This is how Mr. willow voted too! Lol.



BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My instant reaction was NO, and then I remember my dd's first heels were like that when she was 14. She walked over Manhattan to the theater on her 8th grade trip in those shoes. She looked adorable and now at 17 has a some great shoes for dances.

It'll be fine. Let her wear them.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6449 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 36
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