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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Documenting Time
dbellanon
♂ Member
Member # 39236
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On occasion, I've heard people encouraging me to document any parenting time with my daughter that I spend that is over and above what is specified in my agreement with XWW.

I'm curious, what is the best way to document this in a way that could be acceptable in a court setting if it ever came to that?


ME: BH, 28
Her: WW, 27
DD: 4
Married 6 Years.
DDay: Early May, 2013
Divorced

Posts: 227 | Registered: May 2013
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Document the dates you pick up and drop off along with the time you do the pick ups and drop off. If it's not your normal time or day document that you have her on your ex's time. Note any times that the ex gives you visitation when it's her time with your daughter.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Document ALL the time you spend with your DD, not just the extra. You can do it in a little notebook, or on a calendar, whatever is easier for you.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This may seem tedious and trite but will only serve you in the end. I've kept many records and have friends who have and also it looks extremely good if/when going to court. It will help you be taken seriously by legal people, including a judge and will show caring.

Also, when XPervert knows I am keeping records, sometimes it's spurred him to do the rules more, kind of like the hall monitor in school.

I use a little notebook that is easy to hide and I don't let anyone see it. I put anything in it about DD or her time with her father and it's helped me to have evidence of his lack of caring for the rules we've made or schedules we've set up.

I don't think there's a particular format, but I would think it could be of great benefit, in the end.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my lawyer told me that both handwritten or typed on Microsoft word are acceptable. as long as you're keeping track, it doesn't matter the format.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3400 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been keeping my records largely in a calendar. It's a mess to read, but it is clearly "real" and pretty compelling.

It includes everything (WW threatened me at this time, changed pick-up time on this day, DS said he wants me to come get him from WW early...)

I have highlighted in yellow the most pertinent parts and will make color photocopies of every month, to be placed in a binder along with my .pdf printouts of over 300 texts, with pretty damning stuff as well.

At the end of each month I have at the bottom how many days kids were with me, along with a percentage:

July: 22/31, 82%

Any judge who actually takes some time to peruse it will, I hope, see the reality of the situation.

All the best, dbellanon.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there isn't an app for this, there should be.


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, is there an app for this? I know there are apps to track hours for contract purposes, even with gps and receipts features that could be adapted, but dang there should be one.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1484 | Registered: Jun 2011
dbellanon
♂ Member
Member # 39236
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks folks. I've started a spreadsheet. I guess I'm kind of wondering whether that's enough proof for a court, should it come to that? I mean, who is to say I didn't doctor the spreadsheet?

Hopefully that won't be too much of an issue because I am insisting that any schedule changes be discussed through e-mail, but I just wanted to cover my bases.


ME: BH, 28
Her: WW, 27
DD: 4
Married 6 Years.
DDay: Early May, 2013
Divorced

Posts: 227 | Registered: May 2013
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I mean, who is to say I didn't doctor the spreadsheet?

I've had the same concern, dbellanon, and posted it here at some point. Couldn't she just retort, "These are just lies; he made this up recently to make me look bad."

I suppose that's true, but what else can we do? I look at it like this: if your average person (and of course a judge) looks at my mess of a calendar, just glutted with information, written in all types of ink and pencil, I can tell you it looks pretty damn convincing.

I also have all the really salient stuff highlighted so he/she can zoom in pretty quickly and see it.

For me, a spreadsheet or the like is just a little "clinical." I prefer the human touch. And if clinical is preferable, well, I've got Google calendar to back me up as well.

In any case, my attorney likes my calendar and suggests I make color copies (so the highlighted entries show up).

Hope this helps.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 10

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