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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling like a chump (profanity)
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like a fucking chump right now. Why the fuck am I bending over backwards to give this bitch a house with 30,000 in equity in it. Every time I turn around its "can you check on this? How do I do this??" I am making alls, faxing, running around town looking for bank records I keep telling myself it's a means to an end but it's wearing on me right now. Truth is I'm going to drop a 100+ year old house on her that will likely ruin her financially. And I don't care. Fuck her and that shitty house.

I needed to get that out. Tentative closing November 4. Then the gloves come off.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jul 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. Do what you gotta do and don't feel like a chump. The true chump is gonna be her.
It will get better and you will be financially free.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 1763 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A chump is someone still taking care of that fucking house AFTER it's all in her name. A smart guy is someone dumping an big old house on their WW who has no clue what it takes to keep in good shape. And probably doesn't understand property taxes either.


BS 45, WH 38
M 8 years, together 10
Real DDay 10/07/11
Too many OW to count.
D final on 6/21/12
You have to walk away from the past in slow motion as it explodes behind you, like in a John Woo movie.

Posts: 2781 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Cayc on this one!
Keep you chin up, especially with an end date in sight.

After the house is all hers, you're going to suddenly become unavailable to those demands.


Me - 41
My Rockstar (Hubs #2) - 46, faithful, & an absolute doll!
DD(20) and DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs and 2 Cats)

The Cheater:
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Married 18yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 5493 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: United States
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in a similar non-infidelity related situation a while ago.

It really helped me to visualize the outcome. Imagine what you will do on the weekend after the closing. Something positive for you. A night out. A purchase for yourself. A trip somewhere. Something you have wanted to do for a while. Offer that to yourself as an incentive.

Somehow it helped me rise above the frustration of getting there.

[This message edited by jemimapd at 6:25 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why the fuck am I bending over backwards to give this bitch a house with 30,000 in equity in it.

"36. Debt free. Cash in my pocket. Condo on the bay."


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2113 | Registered: Jun 2009
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, October 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She really is clueless. My favorite question : "What is my adjusted gross income?" The small and ever shrinking part does feel ok knowing she will be happy in her house. And when the shit hits the fan I won't care a bit anymore.

Thank you all. ladies_first, thank you for the reminder.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jul 2013
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ladies_first nailed it. You're not helping her, you're making good your escape.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4499 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One thing that's always helped me is to remember when I'm sitting alone every night and contemplating how I handled things, I strive to take the high road because I can live with peace in my mind knowing that I did.

When all is said and done, that will be my peace and some of my freedom. That I didn't do anything wrong, I stayed the course even if it means answering every question and more legal bills.

It's the rest of our lives to live and how we deal with things now plays a big part in that future.

And...think of her having zero, zilch, nadda, to hold against you, Sunsets.

When you next float along on that noodle, you can be conscience-free and your looking back time, if you do it, can be done with ease instead of worry and "what will she come up with next?"

Not leaving any ducks out of order can only ensure a peaceful ends to a very choppy surf.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1955 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ash,

You read my mind. I'm being civil, beyond civil for me. So I can hold my head high. So I can sleep at night. So that, in the future when I'm on a date on the beach and the inevidable questions come up I can say honestly that I was honorable, fair and walked away with a clear conscience.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jul 2013
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A chump is someone still taking care of that fucking house AFTER it's all in her name. A smart guy is someone dumping an big old house on their WW who has no clue what it takes to keep in good shape. And probably doesn't understand property taxes either.

This. It's not a chump move it's a strategic move. Big difference. One puts her at an advantage at your expense the other creates the exact opposite effect. Think about the long term benefits while enjoying imagining how deep in shit she'll be before she even knows what is going on. It helps!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remember you are almost there.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 12

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