IrishLass, this totally nailed it:
I really learned to love me because I had no fear that what I was doing or saying would "let someone else down".
I've ALWAYS felt like I was letting her down. She was critical of everything I did, and (I've just discovered) terribly insecure. I remember when my software rep told me I was the best programmer for that software in the country. I was very proud, and immediately told her.
Her response: "The only reason I'm not better than you (she is technologically inept, and has never programmed anything in her life; that's how I caught her cheating!), is because I haven't chosen to try to be good at it!"
She was a sheer pleasure to be around! Is it any wonder my esteem was down the shitter?Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous