Whether a one-night stand, an emotional affair, or a long-term affair, a betrayal is a cataclysmic event. Everything you are feeling is normal. It will probably take longer than you would like to hear right now for you to process these feelings - the two year mark that is so often quoted here is pretty accurate, from my experience.
We have all been there. Please feel free to post what you are feeling - there is always someone who will understand.
ETA: It may help you and your H to read one or two books about infidelity together, and discuss them. Not Just Friends and How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair are the two most recommended here. I found both helpful in the early days. Don't feel you have to hurry up and forgive him because the A was "only" a ONS - you still are going to go through the shock, anger, acceptance and your WS should be prepared for that. It will help you, too, I think to know at each stage that what you are feeling is normal and needs to be processed. Another book I liked was How Can I Forgive You (J. Spring) which cautions against rushing to "cheap" forgiveness before your H has really earned your trust again.
As for words of hope, I can promise you it does get better. It truly does. And this is a great place to be while you are getting there.
[This message edited by Lyonesse at 9:50 PM, October 10th (Thursday)]
His therapist told him that he cannot turn back time. He did what he did and damage has been done and that the only thing he can do now is prove his commitment and love through his actions and words now. I agree and he is working on it, however, I feel only time will tell whether or not I can move forward.
One more thing, thank you for the suggested readings.
My emotions are so crazy right now. One minute desperate love and the next minute complete anger and hatred.
Some people find journaling helps, too - it gets some of the feelings out on the page, and then you can look back and see that there is actually progress even when it doesn't feel like it. There is a journal function in your SI account, too.
I have learned so much from reading on this site.
((starstone)) < that is an online hug