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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 15
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know my STBX is at fault for her choice(s) to have an A. I also know that the OM knew her exact marrital situation and pounced like a rabid racoon. He gets my distain and lifelong resentment for that. He's a bag of shit. I don't like bags of shit. I see no value or use for a bag of shit.

I thought I was over the OM but I had an experience which proved I'm not. I was walking through one of the big box stores last week and out of the corner of my eye I swore I saw the OM walking towards me from the perpendicular aisle. As I turned to look directly at him I could feel myself getting flush. Rage started building and the thought came to mind that I didn't mind going to jail right then and there. As I faced him directly I realized it wasn't the OM, just a guy who looked similar to him. He still takes up some mental and emotional space in my head. And really why wouldn't he? He is a contributor to my situation, it's hard not to associate the OM with negative feelings.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh where oh where has WB gone, oh where oh where could he be?

WB? you out there?

Getting close for BM15 to say....



Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think we can all agree that the POSER is trash, with poor boundaries, morals, character, integrity and standards. He's also a coward as far as I'm concerned. Screwing another man's wife on the sneak and hoping that her husband doesn't find out is not my idea of stand-up, manly behavior. My point is that, while I'm not always successful, my personal choice is to not let trash occupy too much of my headspace. He didn't enter my life by invitation, and I choose not to let him stay uninvited in my life post-D Day/100% NC. Can't think of a reason to, other than to torment myself or to deflect from the fact that my own wife fucked me over. Doesn't mean I don't loathe the thought of the SOB in the moments he does manage to creep into my skull.

I realize that this does not at all apply to a double betrayal, at least not at first. I imagine both betrayals have to be addressed and sorted through when a good friend or relative conspires with your wife to stab you in the back. I feel for the Menz and the BWs on this site who have to deal with a double dose of this kind of treachery.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 11:10 AM, November 22nd (Friday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dunno if we're still on the "Who is responsible" part with WW and OM, but they are both equally responsible.

I didn't promise the OM I wouldn't go set his house on fire and detail his car with Hello Kitty decals but as Razor pointed out it's a violation of personal space, rights, property and relationships.

People have said that relating it to a break in just means your WS let the criminal in, and she's responsible for that. It's not like she held a gun to his head and said "Help me rob my home."

The only difference in responsibility wrt OM in an affair is *our* responsibility towards him and how we decide to engage that. Since I chose to R, I wrestle with shit like forgiveness for my wife. I don't fucking care about the OM so I choose not to bother with the dumb fucker.

They are equally responsible. I chose to direct my energy towards the person who I actually care about.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Almost time for a new thread?



My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking of lights out....


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looks like another Friday night flip party .

Need to wrap up and get home so I can open a cold one. Where you been hiding WB?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have just been really busy starting up a new law practice. I have been lurking occasionally but not really posting to much. but my spidey sense alerted me that it was time for a new thread!


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR at 4:45pm


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR at 5:30 pm


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR at 10:48pm

***Edit to match video timestamp***

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 2:47 PM, November 22nd (Friday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR at 2:30am


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No re-gifing...

And no boy bands either. I thought we made that clear two threads ago!


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry TRED!


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No timberlake gifs?


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
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