From the Desk of OW...
Does anyone remember as a kid, how much fun it was to have writing paper with our name on it?
That's the context for this post, because OW is so juvenile it reminds me of kid things sometimes.
As I move through this horrible process, I remember bits of conversation and they echo in my head for a long time later. So I put them on Si in hope of getting them out.
All in all, I had one "conversation" with OW and it was not recently. I put my foot down, too and was abrupt, telling her that I simply refuse to have back and forth interaction with her. I thanked her for the chance of STD's and for helping my husband walk away from his family. Then I began to try to pretend she does not exist.
As an MC said, "she is only a factor". Not the problem...well, part of the problem, but not even the biggest one, which is the monster inside him.
The gem of wisdom that she wished desparately to impart on me when she outed XPervert to me is this: "Oh, Mrs., you just don't understand him. I do. You just don't understand our relationship or how lurrvving we are. You don't know what that's like. You don't know him."
20 year's time and growing into adults with this person and I don't understand or know him?
Amazingly, it's her who knows the fake side of him, but she'll have to learn that herself. Probably part of what I 'knew' was also fake-obviously- but I suspect what was here was the better part of his life and self.
I don't mean to act as if I'm competing with OW/Fatty B, for I'm not in my heart or mind-it just amazes me what she said and what she will put up with.
Yes, I have to flush them both back out of my head. I think so much has happened all at once recently that my mind and emotions got set back, so that my strength is down. But I work on it and I continue to work on NC.
Thanks, everybody. I can't say these things to people I know anymore because there is so much judgment and all they say back is "do you have an apartment and why are you still in the house?" and not anything that's constructive to my actual needs.Ashland 13
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge