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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Delicious and juicy subconscious brain sez ...
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From just about the minute that XH hooked up w/main OW, I kept having this befuddling recurring dream. After DD, I figured out what it meant and never had it again. Details aren't important, suffice it to say, it was a thinly veiled allegory relating to XH & M.

Had this gem 2 days ago.

Go to a party w/friends & my mother (oddly enough). Walking thru the room and see XH, who calls out to me, having seen me before I saw him. He wants to talk to me, but I don't want to talk to him.

He is incredibly drunk, possibly on drugs and sitting on OW's lap. She tries to say something to me and I tell her that she is totally inconsequential and is really lucky I haven't kicked her ass. To XH I say 'wow, you are really fucked up, aren't ya?'.

On waking, that really resonates w/me. I still struggle w/believing that XH is damaged in an irreparable way. Intellectually, yes, but emotionally, I keep having this idea that I'm wrong.

The whole thing was just so damn strange, and also is forcing me to just accept reality and move the fuck away from toxic XH.

Didn't mention this to anyone in RL, but know that y'all going thru it totally understand.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 744 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a series of dreams after ex left that I know were because I was processing everything that happened. It felt like each dream was the next step forward, and in some of the dreams I got to tell ex exactly what I thought of him. The last few dreams had him in the distance, just watching as I got on with my life. I think the dreams were part of how I let go, kwim?


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12146 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had dreams for the last 3 years, that XWH keeps trying to cheat on the OW, with ME. It's never happened in real life, so I don't' get it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3332 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My idiot subconscious wants to get back together with my STBXH. Luckily my conscious mind knows that the person I miss, never really existed, except maybe in my dreams. It's like confusing the actor with the role he played. Well STBXH isn't playing that role anymore.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1737 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 4

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