I'm sorry because you've also got the family issues to deal with.
Again, though, that does not mean that you have to stick around to deal with it. I wouldn't on any kind of long term basis. This just may help explain what you are dealing with.
Again, I'm so sorry.
He didn't tell me because he was concerned that what he had to say was going to overwhelm me and put me in a tailspin and he didn't want to worry me. This made me feel like I'm repeating history. It's a partial trigger for me and it's also a concern.
I told him he has been insensitive and acting like a jerk to me....the response I got was he is hurting and is struggling with being affectionate and sharing his feelings. I guess I need to stay in this relationship, with my needs not getting met, and hope for a brighter future. He was never like this when we were just friends. I don't understand. Even then when he was super depressed he wouldn't talk to me as much but he wasn't rude.
But I guess he could isolate from me back then and now he can't. It's like he desperately wants to retreat and not talk for a long time but he doesn't for me.
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
I guess I need to stay in this relationship, with my needs not getting met, and hope for a brighter future.
DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs
Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.
I guess I need to stay in this relationship, with my needs not getting met
Good grief - why?
- He doesn't believe it was an accident and he now wonders what else I have not been truthful about.
- I'm really upset that he is calling me a liar
You deserve better.
He didn't tell me because he was concerned that what he had to say was going to overwhelm me and put me in a tailspin and he didn't want to worry me.
Not cool. You are a big girl and can decide for yourself what you can and can't deal with. Not his call.
the response I got was he is hurting and is struggling with being affectionate and sharing his feelings.
So he is justifying being a jerk?
Even then when he was super depressed he wouldn't talk to me as much but he wasn't rude.
I have dated someone who was depressed. They would totally isolate and detach. It was hard as heck for me because they wouldn't even tell me...just disappear.
My concern is you are dealing with someone who is depressed for a large portion of the year so THIS will be the norm.
I am sorry - it just doesn't seem like the right relationship at the right time for either of you.
[This message edited by EvenKeel at 12:06 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]
I don't know what happened but today he is acting like the old SO I know and love.
[This message edited by courageous at 11:31 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]
I wasn't paying attention and read something I wasn't suppose to.
I don't care that it was something he was trying to "protect you from" (as if you are a six year old that can't handle the truth or reality?)
courageous...it is clear you aren't ready to give this one up and that is okay. It took me over a YEAR to end it with my XSO even when I knew I should. I still loved him and didn't want to deal with the end of something that I valued.
Maybe he will get some help for his depression and make changes. Nothing is impossible (maybe unlikely but not impossible.) Try to have a deep talk with him, let him know your needs, and see how he responds. If you still feel SOME hope that he will be able to meet your needs in the future and he is willing to work on things...there isn't anything wrong with giving this a little more time....