Not to mention that the drain is not flush with the floor so the water spreads out EVERYWHERE! I definitely provided the entertainment that day... the worst part, was not wearing waterproof mascara!!! And how do I know this, you ask? I spent about a half an hour trying to mop up the water on the floor and my hair and clothes with paper towels before someone mentioned it to me
Three years after that, people were still talking about that!
[This message edited by Celticlass at 3:43 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]
One, two, three like a bird I sing because you have given me the most beautiful set of wings----Tim McGraw
So they came to inspect, rang the doorbell, and down the stairs I went to let them in. They walked through the building to check it out before going to the Sanctuary. When they were through, we were standing in the hallway, and they asked me for a copy of the last year's report, to make sure that we didn't have any continuing problems. No Problem, I said, I'll run upstairs and get it. Being somewhat athletic and, of course, wanting to see younger than my middle years, I sprang up the stairs two at a time.
In mid-air, going up the first two stairs, I realized I had a problem. And sure enough, when my foot hit the stair, I farted.
Notice I didn't say that I pooted, or passed gas. I mean, I ripped one out of the depths of my, er, bowels at full volume. Having done so, and now being in full air again about to hit the next two steps, I realized that this was not the only, "one," I had in me.
10 steps, 5 bounces, ripping one each and every bounce. Funny, how an enclosed stairwell will echo .....
I hid in my office, checking the security monitor to the downstairs hallway, until they stopped laughing .... mostly. Grabbed the paperwork, WALKED CAREFULLY down the stairs, thrust the papers into the chest of the Captain, and then muttered, I'll go open the Sanctuary for you.
We all avoided each other's eyes (and none of them walked precisely behind me), while I let them into the Sanctuary, and then retreated to my office. Signed the papers presented to me and they left.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
When I worked back east, I had to undergo training in DC so I stayed at the penthouse that my company had in Crystal City. Beautiful apartment, floor to ceiling views from the living room. The first morning I woke up, I went to the kitchen, got a cup of coffee, and then strolled over to the full-view window, sipping my coffee, watching the day start, and watching the people in the offices across from me start arriving, opening their offices, and beginning the day's activities. Noticed that they sure were friendly, some waiving and smiling at me. Then realized that I was buck naked and backlit by the lamps in my living room .... . Hit the floor and crawled, rapidly, back to the hallway, thus also mooning all of those people.
I swear, if my butt wasn't attached to the base of my spine, I wouldn't be able to find it with both hands!
mine is that on my first date we were walking into the movie theater and my underwear fell out of the bottom of my jeans. You know, when you forget to take them out from the last time you wore them!
[This message edited by rachelc at 12:48 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“He has no idea how beautiful the ordinary becomes once it disappears."
The next most embarrassing time was when I was nursing our first child. I was quietly sitting in the back of the church, all covered up, when the entire congregation stood up and faced the back of the church. It was a feast, and that was part of the ritual. I didn't get up, I just sat and faced them, all looking at me. I could have stood up and turned my back to them all, but I didn't think of that, so I just sat there.
The next most embarrassing thing is when I asked an acquaintance when her baby was due. She said, "I'm not expecting, I'm just fat." I was horrified, and felt terrible. It took me years to build up my courage to ever ask that question again.
edited for typos
[This message edited by HurtButHopeful? at 10:38 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]
You should Google - JATO
My most embarassing moments all sound like they came directly out of a John Hughes movie...
I was that geek in high school who was trying VERY HARD to be a cool kid. I got contacts in 10th grade and thought that was my ticket to the in-crowd... yeah, not so much.
At one varsity boys basketball game when I was a sophomore, I was "gracefully" ( ) descending the bleachers, attempting to sashay past THE COOLEST SENIOR GUY in school... and tripped three rows above him, tumbling down and landing at his feet. He stood up above me, spread his arms wide like a baseball umpire, and yelled "SAFE!"
Somehow in my attempt at coolness I became that geeky girl who accidentally makes the cheerleading squad because the cheerleading advisor (who was the AP English teacher) really likes her. At a pep rally my junior year, I did a great big jump... to realize I had forgot my spankies and had on only regular underwear...
TMI alert ahead... my senior year, when I decided I wasn't cutting it as cool and was exercising my jock side instead, my pad fell out of my shorts as I was running down the court during a basketball game. Refs had to call a time out so I could scamper mid-court and grab that thing. I didn't come out of the locker room for the rest of the game.
[This message edited by stroppy_wanadoo at 10:54 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]
I edit my posts often. Improper grammar irritates me.
Unfortunately, it was the Charter Cable Customer Service Rep, after upgrading my bundled services..
His response, "Love ya, too!"
He must hear it alot
I've tucked my skirt into the back of my pantyhose and then stood in the hallway talking to a coworker as other coworkers passed by and didn't say a word.
I was so freaked out about confession that I peed in the confessional once because I was too scared to ask to go to the ladies room.
The whole class saw the puddle come widdling out from underneath the door.
The nuns got some cloths and tidied up, and I was allowed to go home.
Talk about traumatized!
[This message edited by FaithFool at 4:33 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)]
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
We were at his apartment and I was meeting his brother, best friend, and best friend's girlfriend for the first time. We are relaxing on the couches. I was sitting on the love seat with exwh's brother, while the other 3 were sitting next to us on the bigger couch. I had decided to relax with my leg stretched out on brother's lap. After a couple of minutes I started to feel a rumble in my tummy. So I decided I better sit up. Unfortunately when I lifted my leg off of exwh's lap I let a loud one rip. I was so mortified and embarrassed. I did the first thing that came to mind....l accused his brother of doing it and not me.
His brother was not a gentleman. Not only did he not take credit of it but he made a big todo about it being me.
He has never let me live it down. He would tell everybody how the first time he met me I was passing gas on him and that it has never stopped.
My other story happened in college....
The parking lot at the college was very woodsy and I would often walk under low hanging trees as I went into class. As I was sitting on the front row of class and listening to my professor lecture, I glanced down to noticed a BIG green bug (over 2 1/5" long) crawling down my shirt. It freaked me out! I jumped a little in my seat and quickly brushed it off of me. My professor stopped talking while I was doing this and just stared at me. Then he asked me if I was okay and if he could continue with class.
Another time I was climbing the stairs up to the back of the lecture hall. My ankle rolled and I was unable to keep my balance since I was wearing 3" heels. I fell straight to the floor in front of everyone.... I wasn't hurt just very embarrassed. My ankles always tend to roll at the most embarrassing moments
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
I have therapy on Tuesdays with an awesome IC. Every week I go to say, "See you next Tuesday!" and then a certain acronym I learned from SI comes to mind.