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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: We Work Together
breakingpoint
♀ Member
Member # 40963
Stop  Posted: 7:33 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My xAP and I work together. I have ended any and all sexual and emotional talk. I have ended all texting and FB contact. I have stated my boundaries clearly. I have stuck to my guns.

But we still have to work side by side for about an hour a day. We are always with other people, so there is no opportunity for bad behavior. I can not get another job due to the job market of my specific career. It took me a year of earning my way in, and I need my money to survive.

What else can I do to keep the right distance? What do you do if NC is not possible?


Posts: 115 | Registered: Oct 2013
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

breakingpoint...

Please read this article from the Healing Library under WS FAQ's...its written by another WS and pretty insightful

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_ws.asp#FAQ12


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197661 | Registered: May 2002
breakingpoint
♀ Member
Member # 40963
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks! This was really helpful!

Posts: 115 | Registered: Oct 2013
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad it was helpeful

I think working with the OP is possibly, not necessarily the best situation, but sometimes we all have to figure out how to make the best out of the worst. If that makes sense.

Be honest and upfront with your spouse...don't hide anything and make a crappy situation even worse.

you're trying hard, that's obvious...keep heading in the right direction


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197661 | Registered: May 2002
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Breakingpoint,

It sounds like you've already made the decision to stay where you are?

Statements like, "I cannot get another job", "It took me a year of earning my way in", "I need my money to survive". IMO these all say I'm staying, but I want to make sure I 'appear' to be doing all I can.

I did the 'appearing' to do all I can and it was all at my wife's expense.

Any form of contact I kept with my AP was also at my wife's expense.

There is always a price, regretfully, just like in my own situation, it's the BS that continues to pay the most.

Are you planning to reconcile your marriage?


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 5

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