So...I'm driving into work this morning and the DJs on one of my favorite radio stations starts talking to this guy that decided to go by "Not Bob" and he tells them that he and his girlfriend got in a fight 6 months ago and he cheated on her. Then, he proceeded to say that she still brings it up in fights "at least" twice a month or so. When will she "get over it?"
Um.... IMHO... he is getting off easy. During the 6 months post D-day... I brought up my XWH's A probably just about almost daily... definitely weekly! And, I was hostile! Downright a mean hateful emotional tornado that would wreak havoc on him at any moment! I'm already an emotional person by nature but the A overflowed my emotional cup so to speak! It was like a floodgate and it burst open and I started using the F word like it was going out of style (I never said that word before.....like EVER ) I would be crying one minute and screaming the next! It was literally the "rollercoaster." I know that I was in a M.... but I'm sure that a lot of the same emotions of betrayal and hurt are still there in a dating situation. It still hurts!
This topic really hit me wrong and I tried to call in....but luckily for me they were too busy to answer. I probably would have used the alias of MOW's first name "Just whore (insert first name)"
6 months isn't even cutting through the surface of the healing time it takes to recover from an A *IF* you are going to genuine R and you can't have the "get over it" attitude which is what my XWH had! I was actually willing to "try" to work things out....because I believed in M and what it stood for and genuinely loved my XWH (at one time....hate him now).
But, he, like this guy on the radio sounds...couldn't take the heat... so to speak. He couldn't handle my emotions or the turmoil that what he did caused. He couldn't repair the damage he had done OR basically....wasn't willing to do whatever it took to fix it and heal our M. He wasn't man enough. Still isn't. And, wasn't good enough for me. So, he did me the favor of leaving and we got D. I used to think that I wasn't good enough.... but that was not the case. HE wasn't good enough for me and God intervened. Thank you lord.
I hope that this guy wakes up and realizes that he has to own what he did....and that few minutes (or seconds in my XWH's case) could take him years to recover his relationship from..... just sayin.
::hops off soapbox:: I feel better now. It just really bothered me.... and I felt the need to vent here! Love you guys! Thanks for being my outlet! "Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12