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User Topic: Why do people get married?!
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Question  Posted: 1:58 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously!

After reading a thread on the happiness of being single (again) I am really wondering why the rest of us who were once married are so desparately (at times) looking for another marriage.

Can anyone shed some light on this?

I am making it sound funny but I am serious about the topic you guys.

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 2:15 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 2485 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love being married and apparently my husband does too, so I know why we got married. However I do fully understand your question and I wonder why SOME people get married if it is really not in their nature to want to be with just one person. It would still be fine (I guess) if they told the person they were marrying that they really didn't have it in them to be with just one person. But yet it seems they all make the promise to be true and faithful...I don't understand why they do that if that is not really their intent or desire.

I still think that most probably intend to be faithful when they initially take the vows, but I'm not sure since I can't see in their minds. I am just floored by the cases, however few, where the cheating goes on during the engagement, and in the first years of M.


Posts: 5742 | Registered: Apr 2006
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mutual respect. Mutual attraction. Mutual affection. Opinions,sex, smiles. You need all three.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8815 | Registered: Jan 2008
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are pluses and minuses with both being married or single. Some people will choose one over the other, and that is ok.

I think if I sat down I probably could make an equally sized list of reasons that marriage would make me happy and reasons that I am happy being single.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52205 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Exit)))
I want someone to come home to every night. Someone that has the same life goals. I want my marriage to nurture each other and allow each
of us to realize what loving partners can accomplish together. A marriage is not about you as an individual it is the 'us' the union of two people. One faulters the other by the grace of God will have the strength and love in their hearts to pick their life partner up and travel their journey hand in hand together! I could not imagine
Marriage any other way.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3187 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love my spouse, and I love my marriage. I love being a wife.

That being said, I will not ever do it again. If something happens to this one, and my kids being teens, nope no way. I will bust my butt to get their educations paid for, but then it's gonna be all about me. Gonna eat popcorn for dinner, not going to have to anyone elses laundry, I read with the light on as long as I want, and if I want to go do something I can without having to make sure that it works with 3 other peoples schedules.

Sorry but the life of a mom with teens, and a spouse, and all it's trimmings, with the holidays right around the corner just makes me very tired.

But I am serious about not getting married again, although I would put some thought into getting a sister wife, someone to help with the cooking and cleaning......


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8509 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If something happens to this one, and my kids being teens, nope no way. I will bust my butt to get their educations paid for, but then it's gonna be all about me. Gonna eat popcorn for dinner, not going to have to anyone elses laundry, I read with the light on as long as I want, and if I want to go do something I can without having to make sure that it works with 3 other peoples schedules.

Sorry but the life of a mom with teens, and a spouse, and all it's trimmings, with the holidays right around the corner just makes me very tired.


I love being married and if anything happened to my H I know I would marry again if I could find Mr. Right again. It is a scary world out there though and it seems like good ways to meet people and date have dwindled. I hope to never find myself in that predicament but I truly like being married and would want to be again if something ever happened.

We are empty nesters. The kids are grown and gone. He does his own laundry and if I want popcorn for supper, I have it, or whatever I want. So does he. But we still manage to eat some meals together and eat out together. We share some interests and do something fun together almost every weekend. I just like knowing he's there every night. Somebody to talk about my day, or just life in general. I have friends but it is not the same as having a built in companion who is also my lover and very best friend.


Posts: 5742 | Registered: Apr 2006
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has only been in about the past year where I consider that if something happened to dh, or he fucked up again, that I would consider marrying again. For a LONG TIME, even before his affair, I said no way would I do it again.

Not sure what has changed. Something in me, I suppose. A sense of comfort in my own self. A knowledge of who I am and what I will and will not accept in my life. I would be perfectly fine without a partner but now I think I could be fine with another one as well.

What I can't imagine is dating. Or getting naked with someone new. OMG. I'm half way to 90. The last person that saw me naked for the first time saw me when I was 19. *shudder* Horror.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6442 | Registered: Jan 2011
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read once, that men are primarily driven to marriage due to loneliness, or the desire to not become lonely.

I liked being married, but after what happend with my xWW's infidelity, her lack of remorse, the damage it will cause our children, etc. hmmmmm.....

FWIW, I've had a chance to reflect....a lot, since my D. I don't find the idea of M appealing right now!


Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 944 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A sense of comfort in my own self. A knowledge of who I am and what I will and will not accept in my life...is a great way of putting it Re - for me right now, as a reason not to.

I was just discussing this today - from a man's standpoint, with a good guy who's been with his SO for awhile. The history, as it has developed, from no fault out in California in the 70's, to now in the manosphere - where it's widely held to be foolish to get M'd - is clear.

To my mind, most of us are driven from inside programming to make the M commitment. That's why.
Who did the programming becomes a spiritual discussion for me, but for sure, the state's involvement in my past M's, and the pain they caused, gives me pause.

As was designed from the beginning by the no fault supporters, and their allies who seek to destroy faithfulness and marriage and family.

That's my take anyway.


Posts: 6589 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 10

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