This <cough> counselor is a not really helping anyone in your family.
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin
I hate to say this, but when you quoted your MC it sounded just like my H's OW telling me "it's been a year and a half" when she found out I was still upset, "get over it".
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
The MC looked right at him and said...This could go on for 17 more years or forever if you let it. It will go on for as long as you don't deal with it.
It was a huge eye opener for him.
Not all counselors are created equal. Fire this one and find another...one for your child and one for you or for MC.
I cannot stress how great a really good counselor is....
And FWIW, I think generally MC doesn't work right after dday....I would try again.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
And she says this site cannot and will not help anyone,when I feel the need to post or read ,I should open up a nice magazine instead
Maybe grab that magazine...roll it up and smack her in the head with it. Sorry, there goes that little streak of devil in me again!
WOW. That is very disheartening...and well, just plain bad advice all around. Everybody processes things in their own way and in their own time. This is a traumatic event...with effects that last a lifetime. Time for a new C. ugh.
We had a very bad MC for 8 sessions, our first foray into the C world. We didn't know what was wrong, just that she didn't get it.
Found a new MC, and after 3 sessions we are doing much better. She is very soft spoken and a great listener. Please keep looking - they are out there. Promise. I'd even tell her why. I told our old MC exactly why we would not be coming back. She was stunned. Just doesn't get it.
For me, the hurt will always be there, it's how we deal with it that counts.
3 great kids :)
Married almost 30 years and here I am. Heartbroken.
Trying to make it thru each day. 4/14 - Still trying.
And you pay!!
I'm sorry you went through that, I hope somehow it works in your favour with the healing process.
Our MC checked SI out before saying anything and then didn't say anything. The advice I've gotten here matches the advice she gives - she's big on NC, honesty, transparency, acknowledging responsibility, dates nights and visioning what we want in our M, confronting W's bullshit, etc.
A few times I've brought up my inability/unwillingness to trust my W as a problem. Instead of pushing me to 'get over it', she just says 'it's too early to trust her'.