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User Topic: OW's obituary - Vent
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got home from a funeral, & it started me thinking about what people remember/say about a person once they are gone.

I wish I had, but I still have not heard anything about Karma visiting OW yet----she seems to be merrily going on with her life unscathed.

So, while on the plane I was engaging in one of my favorite pastimes----fantasizing OW getting her just deserts,
& then I got to fantasizing about what I would write on her obituary page:

"A slut, who was willing to spread her legs for money or power. Had no problem with targeting married men, & couldn't care less what it did to their wives & children."
How's that for a legacy?

[This message edited by mchercheur at 7:00 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1393 | Registered: Dec 2012
Garnet
♀ Member
Member # 39070
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen!! Just desserts for whores!! Haha!


Garnet☀

Posts: 84 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: MA
LeopoldB
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually had the scenario you describe play out. OM died. Articles in the local paper... postings on the funeral home web site... people saying what a great guy he was... his wife was strangely quiet... she knew better. I considered posting an entry on the funeral home "guest visitor's book". How OM cheated and lied to his family... all the dirt I had collected about him... his weaknesses... his temper... how he assaulted a 13 yo child... and was terminated from his job for it.

I never did post. Not that he didn't deserve it. But his wife and family had to suffer him while he was alive. His passing should free them from his lies and depravity. So I stepped aside.

Better that he is forgotten.


Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never did post. Not that he didn't deserve it. But his wife and family had to suffer him while he was alive. His passing should free them from his lies and depravity. So I stepped aside.

You are a good man LeopoldB. I hope that had I been in similiar shoes I would take the high road like you did.
But in my case, OW is divorced, no kids----so don't know if I would be able to restrain myself from posting the truth about her, for the world to know.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1393 | Registered: Dec 2012
Bikingguy
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A close friend who is at about 7 months post D day, just found out OM# 2 of 2 died of natural causes.

He was confused on how to act. I was at lunch with him and said he could do the happy dance and would not go to hell for it. He did admit feeling cheated that OM would never feel the pain that he was dealing with. However it was likely that this was never going to happen. He also had to read about what a wonderfull husband and family man he was. My friend's WW had the A several years ago and it ended about 6 years ago. He also thought about posting what OM did, but did not.

More than likely it would have been my friend who would have come across as crazy and adding pain to the wrong person.

I happen to know my WW's OM and his W and kids. OMWS and kids are good people so I do not wish to add to their pain, but cannot lie him being dead would mean I could stop obsessing over running into him.


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 672 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds like my OW obituary. :)


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
oliviah
♀ New Member
Member # 40352
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It breaks my heart that the OW gets so much riff from the BS. Speaking from the OW perspective, it is very very painful. I am not saying that if I were in the BS shoes I would not react the same way but.....some MM promise to the OW to love her forever. Even the best of women and men can't resist. The problem is a lot (not all) OW were sucked in to lies by the AP. He sometimes projects a life that is too good to be true. What goes on behind closed doors was between Him and her....usually the OW is left alone with no mate to fight with. I am so happy for my AP to have found what he is looking for in his marriage. At least it worked out positively for one of us! On the flip side, I am broken, all alone and fighting.....devastated to my core that he lied that he told me I was the one for him and that someday, when we figure out the complications, we will be together. He told me his marriage was mechanical and he had never felt this way before. It is painful for all parties involved. Believe me. The OW nor the BS is the enemy. You can't even imagine the things he told the OW. Now the OW has to live with the heartache from losing him and the guilt (and yes a real woman feels the guilt for the OW), hurting her own children, her family, his and her family. So guilty and disgusted with themselves while the WS is free to reconcile because it is the right thing to do,. Sorry to be crass but it is the truth. The affair partner suffers alone, sick about how she has hurt so many but she should not take the blame alone.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: oliviah
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Oliviah, I have a friend who was the OW and I've seen first-hand the destruction of a family from a WS. It doesn't matter WHAT the WS told the OP. Married people should be off-limits, period.

We do not see the OP as a victim if the OP knew about the WS being married. I think most of us give a pass to the OP who were told the WS was single, and there are many OP who have been lied to like that. I think that a lot of us feel especially betrayed when the OP knew the WS was married and then dove in anyway.

It's just hard for us to have compassion for someone who knowingly took destructive action against our families. I don't think BS should have to see things from the OP point of view.

And we're angry about having been lied to and wronged. I think that healing from betrayal takes so much energy, strength, life, etc. that most of us don't have any left for the OP situation. Sometimes we have to hold together a shattered life for the benefit of innocent children.

That being said, I see that this is your first post. I think you might find the support you need in the Wayward forum. The moderators on this site do a phenomenal job of keeping the site safe and not letting anyone bash anyone else. They really do. But, you posted in General and it might not be the friendliest place around. I think the forum description identifies this as a place where emotions run high, and they ask WS and OP to stay out of the BS venting threads. Good luck to you and I really hope you find the help you need on this site. It's full of amazingly wonderful and insightful people who have been through the hell of infidelity from every side of it.

[This message edited by EasyDoesIt at 10:09 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3692 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 12:30 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oliviah:
On the flip side, I am broken, all alone and fighting.....devastated to my core that he lied that he told me I was the one for him and that someday, when we figure out the complications, we will be together.

By "complications" you mean, of course, that HE. IS. MARRIED!

Which is really not a complication at all.

Deception and betrayal will always be complications in any relationship. Your "relationship" with him was built on deception and betrayal.

I don't negate the broken heart you feel, but don't have much (any) sympathy for it either. Go about your life, and stay out of other people's marriages.

Good luck.

As for the thread topic...YES!!!! I have a few choice things I'd like to add to OW's legacy...starting with her best qualities: Manipulative, Conniving, and Artificial. Then I'd love to tell the world about the time she threatened to stalk our family on vacation because she was jealous that my WH was spending time with his **WIFE** and children.


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
summerain
♀ Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Oliviah

I wrote a post I really enjoyed writing.
However I'm going to deleate it because I don't want to risk getting into trouble.

So...

go post in the wayward section.

[This message edited by lauren123 at 1:08 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 1:24 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to T/J this post. But Oliviah

some MM promise to the OW to love her forever. Even the best of women and men can't resist.

Don't you think he made this promise to his wife first. I am sorry for your pain and devastation, if you knew he was married what did you expect? If he found you, and wanted to get to know you better he should have started divorce before getting a new GF. Not trying to bash you just pointing out that the BS is a person with feelings too, and BS had the prior claim.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2982 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oliviah, my best friend was an ow and I've seen the devastation that she's dealt with from a man who lied and said his M was just in roommate status. However, she, like my ws ow, knew he was married and I feel like a person knows when the line is being crossed. If you feel attraction, stay away before feelings get involved. I'm sure your hurting and yes I do excuse those that didn't know the guy was married but really?? If you know, your setting yourself up for heartache. T/j over, sorry.

Now the obit, I haven't thought of ow, but I have thought of my ws. Would I be able to stand before a crowd and dsy he was a good man, I don't know if I could.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5066 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
259
♀ Member
Member # 22860
Default  Posted: 3:23 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes I used to have these thoughts too. now however I hope they live together forever - I can't think of a more fitting punishment for either of them than to have to live together making each other miserable for the rest of their lives.

however I digress, when I was mid rant one day a friend said to me: why would you waste breath on someone who will have to be buried in a Y shaped coffin. I just about spit my drink out and we laughed long and loud - much to other diners puzzlement.

even just thinking about that Y shaped coffin that OW will need one day makes me smile


Me = FBS
Him = gone


things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.


Posts: 286 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: my happy place (most of the time)
Daysie
♀ Member
Member # 38873
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

259 - Just loved that post .

You have made my day - your friend is amazing and its so so true.

(((Hugs)))


Me BS 56
Him WH 56
M 36yrs
A 32yrs ago with my then BF
DD 1 / DS 1
Who is this man ??????


Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To bury in a Y-shaped coffin. British pejorative term for a female of questionable virtue. Originates from the idea that the subject is such a down-and-out slut that her legs part so much that they'd be stuck like that if she was to die.
An indirect term for a sexually promiscuous girl. To be buried in a Y-Shaped Coffin would imply that the girl never had her legs closed, and a coffin had to be built to suit these parameters.

^^^^First time I am hearing this expression. Very fitting in our case since OW has spread her legs for quite a few of the "gentlemen" at work.

Oliviah,
I am sorry you are in pain, & I give you kudos for coming to this site to try to understand it. Good luck on your journey.
Agree with the above posters tho. I would totally be able to forgive an OW who didn't know the WH was married---in that case she was lied to, used, & manipulated, only to be hurt & deserted. However if OW knows he is married, the honorable thing to do is to walk away if he is pursuing her. In our case, not only did OW know WH was married, but she had met our kids when WH had brought them to work-----& she didn't care how she was hurting them. I also have proof that she "threw herself on him". Believe me, I know he could have said "Thank you for you interest, I am flattered, but I am married" & walked away, & he didn't---so to me they are each 50% at fault.
The difference between her pain (if she has any) & mine is that I had no say in this happening---it happened to me--whereas WH & OW made the choice without asking me.

Also want to add that I do not know if all OWs feel pain. In our case, I think she felt smug, like she had won----because she had gotten a married man 20 yrs older than her to break his vows for her-----another notch on her belt.

Ostrich80,

Would I be able to stand before a crowd and say he was a good man, I don't know if I could.

Hadn't thought about this.
Maybe things will be different in a few years, but
right now, what WH did is still in the forefront of my mind. Don't think I could stand up & say how great he is. He still has a lot of work to do to make things right.

[This message edited by mchercheur at 6:25 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1393 | Registered: Dec 2012
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is hysterical:

however I digress, when I was mid rant one day a friend said to me: why would you waste breath on someone who will have to be buried in a Y shaped coffin. I just about spit my drink out and we laughed long and loud - much to other diners puzzlement.

I'm one of the BS's who checks the obits, always with disappointing results. However, when one of the whore's lurvvers died, she blogged about her "treasured memories" of sex with him. I doubt that his family read this "lovely" tribute.

Now that you've inspired me, here's what hers should read:

"A skank who thought screwing random guys she found on the internet meant she was a hottie. She was also an amazing mother. As she would say "a happy mom makes for happy kids." Since fucking around brought her such joy, her children must have been absolutely ecstatic."

As far as Oliviah goes, I'll also keep my comments to myself.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Mar 2012
overandone
Member
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oliviah - I really don't understand your post.
You seem to be feeling sorry for yourself for being lied to and then abandoned by the AP. Why? The BS was lied to by you and her WS,and you seemed to be quite prepared for your AP to walk out of his marriage, abandonong his wife to be with you.Where was your sympathy for the BS in that? "I am broken, all alone and fighting...devastated to my core that he lied and told me I was the one for him" - don't you think this would apply to his BW if he had left her? Is it ok to lie to her, but when lies affect you it's not so great?
"left alone with no mate to fight with" -Consequence of getting involved with a married man. Hands off.
If you really felt you had a future together you should have insisted he tell his wife and separate from her.How much sympathy did you have for the BS whilst the affair was ongoing? You may have been told the marriage was in trouble, but you should have been woman enough to stop the deceit.
The OW IS the enemy of the marriage.As is the cheating of the WS, regardless of what lies the WS has told the OW. Married men are off limits.
Try imagining yourself in BS's shoes, can you still say it "breaks your heart to get so much riff from BS"?

As far as an obituary is concerned, well that' a strange one as I heard a few weeks ago that fOW has terminal breast cancer. My obit for her is probably unprintable, but yours 259 made me choke on my coffee I was laughing so hard


Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 227 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cant even respond to Oliviah's post. It is disgusting to me.

It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what you said and the OW in my life.

I feel absolutely NO pity or sorrow for the OW or OM.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 549 | Registered: Jan 2013
overandone
Member
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oliviah you said " even the best of women and men can't resist" - what a load of crap. The best women and men respect and love their partners to the exclusion of all others. That's the difference between somebody with good boundaries and behaviour and those who justify being a WS or AP.- their innate decency enables them to say "no" , no matter how great the temptation.

Those who don't say no do not understand the basic tenets of a wide range of positive behaviours, honesty, compassion, respect,love etc. which make for good people.

No, not everyone will stray given the temptation.


Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 227 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 9:05 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have added Vent to the title of this thread.

Since oliviah or any other WS can no longer post on here, please stop addressing her and stick to the topic at hand.

Thank you


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197957 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 52
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