Ask your lawyer, but I sort of doubt you get anything for this. If you have children, his higher income will mean more support for the kids.
Good luck to you.
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
I know each state probably looks at this in some way in the settlement, or is it inconsequential?
I know it is pretty common for a spouse to dump the other after attaining a degree while the other worked, even in short term marriages.
[This message edited by shiloe at 8:57 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]
We agreed that I would support him through school, and once he was a full-time doctor, I no longer had to work a demanding, stressful job and could instead volunteer, take a fun job, go back to school, etc. Only I held up my end of the bargain.
I put him through 4 years of medical school, 3 years of residency, and 2 years of fellowship (he did make a small amount of money the last 5 years.) I found out I was losing my job a couple of months before D-Day, and thought it was perfect timing since severance would carry us through.
And then he started sleeping with a married coworker (also a fellow physician) and I got completely screwed. He had to pay me back only a small portion of what I invested in what I thought was our future. I get no maintenance even though he makes more money than I do.
My lawyer told me I probably could have taken my case up the court system somehow, but no guarantee of better results and I might just incur tens of thousands of legal fees. I decided it was best just to move on, but the court system is very unfair to those of us who are responsible. I hope you fare better than me, but my consolation is that he's now out of my life and I never have to feel indebted to him at all, while he is a parasite.
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
This was in Texas back in 2006. They were married for 15 years and had no kids. So that was taken into consideration. Luckily for her, their split was very amicable and they mediated with no problems.
Our first DD was spring of his gap year between; the second DD was spring semester of first year of law.
It was actually part of the trauma of DD#2 the whole financial situation. WH gets scholarship and grant money, but not anywhere near enough to live on even just for him. Despite me working a lot of overtime to keep us afloat, he played the big shot with the OW(s) on line and bought them gifts.
There I was budgeting how much meat we could afford in groceries for us and all our children and stitching up holes in my work clothes and he was buying them gifts... It blew my mind. And I found it out from the OW(s) when they learned the truth of the situation and realized their gifts came from MY pay.
WH actually got offended that it was phrased as "my" money rather than magically from his scholarships. He even contacted them again to tell the OW(s) that I was misrepresenting the situation and not giving him credit.
They cut him off after that. What people are capable of wrapped in that fog and delusion is incredible. I told WH during DD#2 talks that if he didn't take care of the kids financially if the marriage fell apart after he was graduated and in a firm, I'd make him pay and wouldn't be nice about it.
It was a horrible betrayal on top of a horrible betrayal.
My brother I helped put through school and he is now a millionaire now in another country with a millionaire GF.
Still I don't know how this, with our finances, got turned so upside down!
Sorry, but I had a good lol at PHMH's line about "his parents told him he was too stupid". Thank you, I needed that!
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 8:33 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
When I found out about the A, I had just quit my job in order to take two positions in his office. Why two? I took the second one so I could pay off his student loans.
He was making literally 5x what I make when DDay happened and, among his blame shifting, was the stunning statement that I was "selfish" for paying off my loans and credit card debt before paying off his.
So I'm pretty lucky. Although he did take a fairly sizable loan from my family about a month before DDay. He said he would pay it back. He hasn't, of course. And my L says the most I can do is send some scary letters (that his L will read right through).
These people sure are special.
My ex was a high school dropout. Never even got a GED. So he had trouble getting jobs. Then when he managed to get a job, he'd quit after a couple months with some lame excuse... He was unemployed or very underemployed for the entire 12 years we were together.
When he did work jobs here and there, I let him keep that money as "fun money" for his hobbies I didn't particularly share a passion for. I paid for all our household bills, which the exception of an occassional bag of groceries he'd pick up at the store.
We were never married, so there was no chance to recoup money that went to supporting him for 10+ years. I am afriad to even calculate how much it'd be because I know I will just get pissed all over again.
I have to laugh, though, because I think OW was impressed by his lifestyle... but she clearly was too stupid to realize he was not financing that with his income from the part-time minimum wage job they met at.
So when he left, so did his cash flow from me...