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User Topic: Why Not For Me?
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a problem I was hoping someone on this site can help me with. I donít know if I am being petty or unfair to my formerly-wayward wife, but I need advice from people who have been through this sort of thing.

The short version of my story is this: my wife and I are in our mid-40s, have been married twenty-two years and we have two children ages 16 and 13. Last May I discovered through snooping in her e-mails and Facebook that my wife was having a physical affair with a younger co-worker. The affair had been going on for about six months. I found the other manís wife and together we gathered evidence and busted our respective spouses on May 16, 2012. His wife divorced him and kicked him out immediately. I asked my wife to leave the house and she went and stayed with her mom for two months while we worked on our issues.

My wife was extremely remorseful and begged me not to divorce her. She ended her relationship with the other man the same day I exposed their affair.
She moved back into the home in early August 2012 and over the past year we have slowly been rebuilding our relationship. She came clean on every aspect of the affair, how they met, how the flirting and talking every day had escalated to lunches and then trysts. Most of their sexual meet-ups happened at motels and at a house belonging to one of the other manís friends. She has been very attentive to me, almost motherly and calls multiple times a day to let me know where she is. She also got rid of her FB account without me having to ask, and all her e-mail accounts and her cell phone are open to me anytime I want to look. She has also been attending individual counseling with a very good therapist who has really held her feet to the fire, and just a couple months ago we started marriage counseling twice a month.

Every time she talks of the affair she breaks down crying. She tells me often how disgusted she feels about what she did and how much it hurts her that she hurt me. I have no doubt my wife loves me and wants to make this work out.

But here is the rub: on top of telling me all the details of the affair, she has also been up front about what she and her affair partner did sexually. A week ago, after we got home from marriage counseling, we got to talking about the things she and her affair partner did and she disclosed for the first time that she had done things with him in bed that, prior to the affair, she had never done with me. These were things that in the past I had suggested we try, but at the time she did not want to do them. Well, I am ashamed to say I did not take this information well. I lost my temper and went off on her, calling her horrible names. She broke down crying and for the last week there has been a tension between us that you could cut with a knife.

I feel like Iím back to square one and that all the progress Iíve made towards healing has been blown away. I feel humiliated and emasculated that my wife would do things sexually with another man that she had refused to do with me. I have asked her why and she just bawls and squalls and says she doesnít know. She mentioned that it might have had something to do with the ďmomentumĒ of their affair -- whatever that means. Now I feel like I just want to end this marriage. I am as sick and ill as I was when I first discovered the affair over a year ago. Am I being petty?


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that this comes across as another rejection as she shared something with another that she wouldn't with you.

Have you been able to construct a way to communicate how this made you feel? Might be better to write out your feelings and let her read it. Do this if you are finding that direct talks are resulting in emotional escalation and listening to each other declining.

[This message edited by MovingUpward at 3:12 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; theyíll scratch you up time and time again but in the end youíre polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51802 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to SI DefeatedDad.

Not petty at all. This is a big "detail" that she's been withholding for over a year, compared to finding out that she called him on Jan 5th 2012. It's a big thing to you, understandably.

The good (?) thing is that she did tell you. Little comfort, I know, and I'm sorry. It doens't make it hurt any less.

If this is a deal breaker for you, then it is. If you don't know if it's a deal breaker, then that's okay too. No decisions need to be made right now. Definitely a topic for your next MC.

There's a great bunch of guys down in the I Can Relate forum that you might want to visit. They touch on this from the male perspective (can't give you that, sorry).

Keep reading and posting. Glad to have you here.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14832 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that this comes across as another rejection as she shared something with another that she wouldn't with you.
Have you been able to construct a way to communicate how this made you feel? Might be better to write out your feelings and let her read it. Do this if you are finding that direct talks are resulting in emotional escalation and listening to each other declining.

That is a great idea. I will try this.

I must add that she has been very upset about this, even going so far as telling me she should have just kept her mouth shut if she had known I would react this way.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel it may also be that our WS's get to be someone that they aren't IRL. That what they are doing with AP doesn't really count and it is their alternate personality.

Also, maybe your FWW felt as if she needed to keep upping the ante to keep the affair going. To keep the ego kibbles coming.

In any case, you aren't being petty. I never asked for the gory details of my FWH's sex acts with OW because I didn't really feel I would be able to handle it. (((DefeatedDad)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9491 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ironically, I have the opposite issue. My WW told me what she did with the OM and I was actually turned on a little. I felt compelled to do the same things or even more with her, but she is not sexually attracted to me at all. I'm often faced with the catch 22 of me not being able to sleep unless she is in the room and her not being able to sleep when I'm in the same bed. I've been sleeping on a very uncomfortable crib mattress on the floor.


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 524 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
momoffive
♀ Member
Member # 27352
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Defeated Dad,

It's horrible to feel rejection upon rejection. My SAWH who did things for his OW that I have always wanted, told me that he did it because, "I'm not that kind of girl". Now the real kicker is what he was referring to was when I confronted him about the simple fact of flirting/sexting throughout the day.

How idiotic is that? I'm not the kind of girl to flirt with.

It hurts, Defeated Dad, to know that what we have always wanted, they gave so willingly to another. And no, you're definitely not being petty. You have every right to be angry and upset. I'm reading a book right now where it says that we HAVE to get angry...

I am glad to see that your WW seems remorseful by the realization of her poor and hurtful choices though. Communication will be key to working through this with your wife.

Rejection is a big deal. Take care of yourself as you continue on this wild rollercoaster ride from hell.

[This message edited by momoffive at 3:30 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


BW 44, SAWH 45(sorry1)
M24 yrs
DD 23,16,13 DS 21, 19
Dday1-7/3/09 EA OW4
Dday2-9/1/09 PA OW4
Dday3 3/14/10 Farmville sexting, OW3
Dday4 3/13/11 Secret texting, would be OW5-she said no
Dday5 8/2/11 PA 10 years ago OW1, kissing 4 years ago OW2

Posts: 1123 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Pennsylvania
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ironically, I have the opposite issue. My WW told me what she did with the OM and I was actually turned on a little. I felt compelled to do the same things or even more with her, but she is not sexually attracted to me at all. I'm often faced with the catch 22 of me not being able to sleep unless she is in the room and her not being able to sleep when I'm in the same bed. I've been sleeping on a very uncomfortable crib mattress on the floor.

I could not stay with a woman like that.

Just this morning my wife came to me crying saying she would do those things with me, but now its like I am disgusted by the thought of it. Our sex life has not been great since the affair was uncovered and now I do not desire her at all.

It is the knowledge she gave something that should have belonged to me, to us, to another man. That's what I cannot swallow.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm to the point where i can't for much longer. My D-Day was only 2 months ago.


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 524 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's horrible to feel rejection upon rejection. My SAWH who did things for his OW that I have always wanted, told me that he did it because, "I'm not that kind of girl". Now the real kicker is what he was referring to was when I confronted him about the simple fact of flirting/sexting throughout the day.

How idiotic is that? I'm not the kind of girl to flirt with.

It hurts, Defeated Dad, to know that what we have always wanted, they gave so willingly to another. And no, you're definitely not being petty. You have every right to be angry and upset. I'm reading a book right now where it says that we HAVE to get angry...

I am glad to see that your WW seems remorseful by the realization of her poor and hurtful choices though. Communication will be key to working through this with your wife.

Rejection is a big deal. Take care of yourself as you continue on this wild rollercoaster ride from hell.

Thank you momoffive. It is comforting to know there are others out there facing this. I want to mention that before the affair I always did my best to please my wife sexually. I am not and never was a selfish lover. If there was something she heard about and wanted to try we I would do it willingly, and often times we enjoyed them enough to add them to the aresenal so to speak.

I am a sexually healthy man, but I have never forced or pressured my wife to do the wilder stuff. These things she did with her AP were things that I had casually mentioned we should try and she would recoil from the thought. With him, she was like "Okay!"

[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 3:40 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm to the point where i can't for much longer. My D-Day was only 2 months ago

That sucks. It hurts. Man does it hurt.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
1985
♂ Member
Member # 28171
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your dilemma resonated with me and so I feel compelled to offer some thoughts and advice. Let me briefly explain why I understand precisely where you are at. You can see from my tag line my history. We spent over 30 years not talking about the A because my W flat out refused to .... Except for one thing. Years ago, out of the blue, and many years after DDay, she volunteered that there had never been oral sex with her AP. That made sense because at the time of the A and for many years after, it was something that she was not interested in with me. It had only begun with me a while before her sudden announcement. And over these past 15 years she repeatedly insisted it was the truth if I would ask.
So a year ago she finally agreed to start talking about the A and answering some questions. And you know what's coming here. She admitted that yes there had been oral, each to the other, during the A.
SO, I understand the shock of learning, and the anguish of dealing with, the fact that your W willingly and readily did things with her AP that she would not do with you. That probably hurts as much or more than the fact that she would have an A to begin with. And I understand your comment that you feel humiliated and emasculated. For me it was that I had gone along for the last 15 years feeling like there was at least one thing left that was just mine; that the other man didnt get, hadn't experienced; that was still special just for me and just between us. And then POOF, it was gone. Nothing special left. Indeed, I wasn't even special enough to have gotten what he did back then. I know you are feeling those same emotions. So where to now?
First -- you are not alone. In fact from all of my reading here I believe that 50% or more of the Betrayed Husbands here have experienced the same phenomena. Their wives did sexual activities with the AP that they refused to do with their husbands. It seems like it is almost a given that it will happen. So please don't see it as some really unusual and particularly vicious degrading of you. Vicious and degrading perhaps --- but something that seems to be a standard play in the cheating wife play book. I recall one guy here who sarcastically told his W that he wishes she would cheat on him WITH him. She of course looked puzzled so he explained that he would like to be her "other man" so that he could engage in the sex acts that she had done during her A. She apparently got the point then.
I know what I am telling you won't lessen the pain. But I hope it will help you put in perspective that this was not so much an intentional slam at you as it was part of just what happens in an A. Despicable, screwed up ... Pick some descriptive words --- but something that happens to a majority of betrayed men.
I've seen a lot of speculation as to why this happens. What seems to make the most sense is two things. First, the WW wants to impress her AP and be the most fantastic sex partner he has ever had so she does things beyond her normal limits. Second, many WWs seem to be in the A for attention or validation from a source outside the marriage. The sex is the price for the continued attention. Messed up for sure, but that is what I have picked up in my readings here.
So my advice -- which will be difficult to act on I know, is to try and not look at these sexual activities as something separate and part from the A. Instead, roll them mentally into one big barf bag that contains all the activities constituting the A. Don't single them out. And work on trying to determine whether you can, or want to, survive the A itself.
Come to understand that all of the things your W did: holding hands, kissing, intimate conversations, each of the different physical acts, along with the lies and scheming and deceit
--- all of them together, jointly are THE A. And you need to work on figuring out if you can, or want to, try to reconcile from the A. If you try dealing with each individual action that has occurred over the length of the A you will drive yourself nuts. It will be too much to handle.
Full disclosure here: I sometimes have trouble following my own advice. Doing what I suggest is difficult for sure. But if you can do it, it will help you progress towards healing and accepting those sex acts as just part of an overall horrid situation. Isolating them will have you dealing with them and, at the same time, separately with the other aspects of the A. Which will, I believe, increase your mental burden.
I have found this approach to be very helpful. Not perfect perhaps, but the best approach I have heard of or come up with.
I hope you find peace.


Me-BH 63
Her-fWW 63
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
DDay June, 1985
DDay June 1985
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 4 grandkids

Posts: 591 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest - large city
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you 1985. You hit the nail on the head for how I'm feeling.

I think with my WW it was the validation and the need to keep the AP interested in her. She told me that the affair was winding down right before they were busted, and that she had planeed on ending it soon anyways (yeah, I know.. that's what they all say).

I also think that maybe, just maybe, there might be some sort of reverse MAdonna Wh_re thing going on, where my wife had me up on a pedestal of sorts and didn't want me to view her as a sexual being who could be naughty. She wanted me to respecrt her as a wife. That's what she told me the other night: she was afraid I would no longer respect her if she did anal or other exotic things with me.

I told her that was the most backwards, messed up thinking I had ever heard. Oh, and she went on to say she didnt even like doing those things with him. I find it hard to believe becuase she did these things many times over. I don't know what to believe anymore.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I must add that she has been very upset about this, even going so far as telling me she should have just kept her mouth shut if she had known I would react this way.

This is dangerous because now she can use it as a excuse to lie by omission to you in the future.

I totally understand your feelings because I have the same issues as you. No real advice. I hear you and I understand. Thats all I can offer for now.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3417 | Registered: Sep 2007
MediumRare
♂ Member
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi DefeatedDad,
Your situation resonates with me as well as I spent 8 years wanting to do more things sexually that my WS said she was not up for. She also said she would never use BC so condoms were in use for us.

Turns out, all the things I wanted for 8 years the OM1/2 were offered in about 8 minutes. Plus, no condoms for them and use of morning-after pills out of my pocket as well.

I understand the feeling. It's like the person you are giving your 100% to is only giving you 50% in return, while giving 110% to some random loser.

In essence though, it is simple desperation for a WS. They crave/thrive on the attention the OM gives them, so they will stop at nothing to get another helping of that drug. It's a source of weakness and the 'willingness' is more akin to withdrawal than freewill. It's if you ask someone in a regular setting to do something a little bit... extra, they may hesitate or decide against it. Now take a heroine addict going through the pangs of withdrawal and it's a no-brainer/immediate willingness for that needle. This is how it was for my WS.


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 712 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
1985
♂ Member
Member # 28171
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One thing you will learn, and hear repeatedly on SI, is to believe actions and not words. It is important, I think, for her to say all the things you want to believe. But to fully believe them, you have to see her actions match her words. So be pleased if she is saying all the right things; but remain skeptical until her actions consistently match what she is saying.
It is hard to believe that they would keep going back and doing over and over things that they didn't particularly enjoy. My W has told me "the sex really wasn't anything special" and "it was never about the sex". If you believe the psychological explanation that the sex was the currency being paid to continue to get the attention and validation, then maybe those statements by our W's makes sense.
I tend to think they wanted the attention and validation but they also enjoyed the sex. If for no other reason than there was a real rush from doing something forbidden. My W has always said she was just looking for an adventure and excitement so I guess the act of cheating and getting away with it along with the physical aspects provided that rush. To get the rush, she did what she needed to do to keep the AP happy. Maybe that is at least a part of what was going on with your W.
Consider this thought too. You say yourW has offered to do the same things with you but now you don't want to. I understand that doing them could be triggery. But as long as they stay something that she has done only with him, they will stand out as barriers between you and become negative obsessive things for you. You need to reclaim your sex life with her. Eventually that is going to require that these things no longer be some special event that she has had only with someone else.
I am not saying do something you don't want to do just to say ok I did it.
I am just saying, if it is something you want, do it and don't hold back because she did it with him first. D it and make it part of the intimacy between the two of you so that it becomes YOUR thing and not some thing that is dividing you from her.
It may take a while to get there but you will have to address this eventually before it takes on some mystical status in your mind.


Me-BH 63
Her-fWW 63
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
DDay June, 1985
DDay June 1985
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 4 grandkids

Posts: 591 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest - large city
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Turns out, all the things I wanted for 8 years the OM1/2 were offered in about 8 minutes. Plus, no condoms for them and use of morning-after pills out of my pocket as well.

I understand the feeling. It's like the person you are giving your 100% to is only giving you 50% in return, while giving 110% to some random loser.

Gawd Medium Rare, that is truly awful. How you have stayed with that woman is a mystery to me.

Guess you love her huh? That giving 50% to me what she gave 100% to her AP is exactly what I told my wife once during the time we were separated. She didn't understand at first but the next day she called me up crying and claiming it wasn't true. I called her a liar on that.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat as you. Too much love left there for someone who really no longer deserves it.

[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 6:00 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tend to think they wanted the attention and validation but they also enjoyed the sex. If for no other reason than there was a real rush from doing something forbidden. My W has always said she was just looking for an adventure and excitement so I guess the act of cheating and getting away with it along with the physical aspects provided that rush. To get the rush, she did what she needed to do to keep the AP happy. Maybe that is at least a part of what was going on with your W.

This. Thank you.

I may use some of this when she and I talk again tonight. I just got off the phone with her and told her we are having it out tonight, all of it. I'm giving my daughter some money to take her brother to the cheap show tonight and the WW and I are going to have a Come To Jesus meeting about this.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DefeatedDad,

So sorry you are hurting, man. No one deserves this crap. No one.

I think you should take a stroll down to the 'I can Relate' section and check out they betrayed men's thread. Lots of good guys down there and lots of good advice.

Wish I could offer something else to you. The women on this forum offer the other posters hugs, but how about a handshake and a chuck on the shoulder from a fellow dude in the same crappy situation.

Wishing you the best.


Me: BH, 36
Her: WW, 37
Two girls 8 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 269 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DefeatedDad,
So sorry you are hurting, man. No one deserves this crap. No one.

I think you should take a stroll down to the 'I can Relate' section and check out they betrayed men's thread. Lots of good guys down there and lots of good advice.

Wish I could offer something else to you. The women on this forum offer the other posters hugs, but how about a handshake and a chuck on the shoulder from a fellow dude in the same crappy situation.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks man. I did go to the other section and I posted in the Betrayed Men thread.


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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